Boner Candidate #1: I JUSSS WANADA SEE THE TEMPLE
A drunken American tourist has broken into, and damaged, antient temple in Kyoto, Japan. A sub temple of the Kenninji Temple, dating back to the 1200’s, was broken into on June 24th. The tourist entered through a kitchen door and damaged a wooden railed and a door in the main hall. The man later came back to the temple to apologize to the chief priest via translation app. “This was the biggest mistake of my life. I’m truly sorry… I just wanted to see the temple”. Remarkably, Chief Priest Keinin Magami accepted his apology and they have chosen not to file a damage report.
Boner Candidate #2: OH, AND WHERE WAS HIS DRUG STASH HIDDEN?
A Florida man in surgery after being stabbed from alleged drug dispute was found to have a glass crack pipe, lighter, and tinfoil filled with cocaine shoved in his rectum. Over recent years, Michael O’Neill has been convicted of a DUI and several drug related arrests. This is not the first time O’Neill has been found with drugs in “his buttocks area”, with a previous arrest finding bags of fentanyl and crack rocks. After being hospitalized for his recent stab would, he has been charged with cocaine possession, a felony, and possession of drug paraphernalia, a misdemeanor.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: THERE WILL BE ROOT BEER IN THE FOUNTAINS. I EAT MY BURRITO WITH MY FINGERS
Former Republican congressman, and current Fox News contributor, Jason Chaffet performed an outlandish impersonation of New York City Democratic mayoral candidate, Zohran Mamdani. On The Ingraham Angle, Chaffet was claiming that Mamdani was a Marxist and a Communist. He started doing an ‘impression’ of Mamdami, saying, “Hey, let’s put root beer in all the drinking fountains! Everything will be free! Look at how I eat my burrito with my fingers and trust me”. Laura Ingram, the host of the show he did this on, didn’t respond in the slightest. He promptly attempted to justify his wild impersonation.
