Boner Candidate #1: I’VE GOT A RAT AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
A 57-year-old Massachusettes man who is “well known to transit police” has been arrested and faces multiple charges after he drunkenly swore and flailed his pet rat, Jerry, at innocent bystanders on a subway train. In a viral TikTok video, Jeffery Stuart shouts, “You’re f**king with society! That’s exactly who the f**k you are!” at other passengers. After police arrested Stuart, they sent Jerry to animal control.
Boner Candidate #2: WE DON’T WANT THE KIDS TALKING ABOUT…YOU KNOW WHAT.
A bill being sponsored by Florida Representative Stan McClain would ban the discussion of human sexuality, sexually transmitted infections, and menstrual cycles in elementary schools. The bill would also require schools to teach that sexual identity is determined biologically at birth. According to McClain, his intent with this bill is to bring “uniformity” to sex education across Florida.
Boner Candidate #3: INSTANTANEOUS AND PAINLESS.
Families of the victims of the Ethiopian Airlines crash in March 2019 are making a claim against Boeing, demanding compensation for the pain and suffering their relatives experienced during the crash. However, Boeing is arguing that due to the speed of the crash and its impact, the victims’ deaths would have been instantaneous- meaning they experienced no pain and suffering.
