Boner Candidate #1: I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR BEING PERSISTENT
A man from California was arrested 10 times within the span of one month. 38-year-old Keith Chastain has been placed behind bars multiple times since February 19th. Keith is charged with at least 18 felonies and 15 misdemeanors. The most up to date arrest was for a stolen vehicle that Keith said he was using to obtain personal belongings from the police station. The majority of the arrests were from Clovis police department, with 6. The remaining 4 arrests were from other departments. Keith is in trouble for stealing six vehicles, DUI, vandalism, possession of a controlled substance, and more.
Boner Candidates #2: SICK OF PRISON FOOD: OR, YOU JUST BROKE OUT OF JAIL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT?
Two escaped inmates from a Virginia jail are on the run in. The world is their oyster, but they decided that they want pancakes instead. The prisoners used some makeshift tools, created out of a toothbrush and a metal object, that they created to grind a hole in the wall to getaway. They were found, and arrested a few hours away dining at an IHOP. The sheriffs office is now investigating into ways to put a stop to other from escaping. Other patrons called authorities to turn the criminals in. “It reinforces what we always say, ‘See something, say something,” Sheriff Gabe Morgan said.
Boner Candidate #3: HEY, THIS IS JUST A BAG OF ROCKS.
Investors who are intelligent tend to make little, if any, mistakes. Professional investors at JP Morgan Chase Bank thought they were being just that, when adding nickel into their portfolio. Which is highly sought after as an element in steel and a component in electric car batteries. From the purchase JP Morgan expected 54 metric tons of Nickel which is about $1.3 million worth. Instead they were duped into buying a bag of rocks. The London Metal exchange claimed this, “In recent months, the LME has been alert to reports of cargo irregularities in the broader physical nickel market.”