Boner Candidate #1: NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, VANCE IS JUST A WEASLE
JD Vance is taking his word back when he said that Britain is a ‘random country that hasn’t fought war in 30 or 40 years.’ Since this comment Vance has attempted to clarify his words after the furious backlash among military veterans and MPs for all parties. Vance has since been branded as ‘shameful’ and is facing calls to apologize. It came off as inconsiderate and harmful, Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer’s offer of peacekeeping force in Ukraine with British and French boots on the ground. Later Vance used a Fox News interview to put Ukraine under pressure to sign the minerals deal with Donald Trump. He said “a way better security guarantee than 20,000 troops from some random country that hasn’t fought a war in 30 or 40 years.’ An ex-servicemen pointed out that 636 British troops died in Afghanistan and Iraq after the UK allied with the US military action following the 9/11 terror attacks. Vance is now being accused of ‘erasing from history’ he is being relabeled as ‘deeply disrespectful.’ He claims that he hadn’t bee trying to aim his barb at Britain or France who are the only two countries to publicly commit to a peacekeeping force in Ukraine.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS THE ONLY LOGICAL WAY TO GET Y OUR FOOTBALL KID MORE PLAYING TIME.
A Missouri football dad has been convicted of shooting a volunteer youth football coach in the back for not giving his son enough playing time. Daryl Clemmons, 45 year old shot a father of Five Shaquille Latimore, 34, five times near a practice field in St Louis. All while a group of 9 and 10 year old kids on the tam “were playing near by.” Clemmons targeted Latimore in rage at “the amount of playing time Clemmons’ son had been getting,” the prosecutors said. The fathers were both armed when they started fighting on Oct. 10 2023. When the coach handed off his weapon to a friend, telling the other dad he was ready to fist fight. That’s when “Clemmons rejected that idea and than shot Latimore five times.” Now that Latimore who has since recovered from his injuries states “I didn’t see his gun until it was already too late.” Along with “I ran, and he shot me in the back. I fell, and he shot me a couple more times.” Allegedly Clemmons taunted him while he was on the ground before other adults jumped in. Latimore recalled “After he shot me, he was like… ‘I told you I was going to pop your a-.'” The dad fled the scene but later handed himself in that night.
Boner Candidate #3: THIS WILL BE HILARIOUS
A man has filed a legal claim against his own brother- in- law following a prank in which he poured super glue into is belly button while he was sleeping. The man took it to Reddit, stating that him and his family are “furious” after he had to take his brother in law to small claims to court. In the reddit post he states “A few months ago, we were at a family BBQ, I had a few too many beers and fell asleep in a hammock with my shirt off. My BIL, who was completely sober, thought it would be hilarious to fill my belly button with super glue. At some point, I must have touched it, because when I woke up, I had glued partially dried in my belly button and on my finger.” The post continued with “We tried to remove it, but it was stuck. The glue had adhered to my skin, and when we attempted to peel it off, it caused some tearing around the edges.” He explains that the insurance policy comes with $1,000 copay for emergency room visits. Though he went to the ER anyways because he could not remove it himself. He than wrote “They used solvent and ointment to remove the glue, and after everything, I was left with a medical bill of $2,253.” When he asked his brother in law to cover the cost “he refused.” The man than wrote “After trying to resolve it, I took him to a small claims court and I won. However, he still hasn’t paid me.”
