Boner Candidates for November 29, 2023
Boner Candidate #1: SHE STABBED HIM WITH A RABIES NEEDLE.
A Florida woman, Sandra Jimenez, has stabbed her boyfriend of eight years in eye with a needle meant for giving rabies vaccines to dogs. They had been having an argument about Jimenez’s boyfriend looking at other women. No one knows where she got the needles from. Apparently, her boyfriend had been laying on the couch when she attacked him with two needles, and one went into his eyelid. Jimenez has since been taken into custody and been charged with aggravated battery.
via Huffpost
Boner Candidate #2: AN ELECTED OFFICIAL…DUMB AS A BAG OF ROCKS.
Representative Kevin McCarthy has claimed that America has never taken land from anyone. “Think for one moment. In every single war that America has fought, we have never asked for land afterward—except for enough to bury the Americans who gave the ultimate sacrifice for freedom” said McCarthy. People have pointed out that McCarthy’s state of California is territory won by America in the Mexican-American War. “This guy represents California in Congress — one of 9 current states whose territory the US won in part or whole during the Mexican War of 1848.” said a historian named Joshua Zeitz.
via NewsWeek
Boner Candidate #3: ANOTHER POLITICIAN…THIS ONE DUMB AS A SACK OF HAMMERS.
Senator John Kennedy was present at a hearing about gun violence. He was trying to make a point about other states having bad statistics over gun violence but was reminded that his state is one of the highest. Dr. Meghan Ranney was being pressed by Kennedy about Chicago gun violence but she said she had no expertise on the area. She brought up how the lack of education and abandoned buildings could be the problem with the amount of gun violence in Chicago. “No disrespect, doc, but that sounds a lot like word salad to me,” Kennedy responded.
via DailyBeast
