Boners

Boner of the Day for October 11th, 2024

Boner Candidate #1: DR. DNA IS CREATING FRANKENSTEIN PUPPIES.

A man, calling himself Dr. DNA has sparked outrage after boasting his invention of a new breed of “designer dogs” while also ignoring those warning that this horrible operation will destroy many innocent puppies lives. Gary Hemming, an unlicensed dog breeder with no veterinary qualifications has bragged online that he has morphed the DNA of a dalmatian and a French bulldog to create a new “wave” of designer dogs that he hopes will sell across the world. Hemming, a 41-year-old from Edinburgh, Scotland, said the creation from his “Pokadot” factory is the future of his new breed: Pokadot Frenchie.  

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WINNER!

Boner Candidate #2: THEY’RE SPECIAL SLEEPY STICKERS

Two preschool teachers are on current suspension due to giving school kids melatonin patches to make kids fall asleep in class. This happened at Northgate Crossing Elementary School in Texas last month and was discovered thanks to a four year old sneaking her, what the teachers called special “sleepy stickers”, out of the classroom to show her mom.

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Boner Candidate #3: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY STRAIGHT LACED TRIES TO BE COOL.

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer making the public question her over a bizarre video in which she fed Doritos into the mouth of a liberal podcaster, which some said looked like it imitated the Catholic sacrament of Holy Communion. The video is an apparent takeoff on a TikTok meme in which friends feed each other food and stare uncomfortably into the camera, where you can see Whitmer staring into the camera wearing a camo Harris – Waltz hat. But most users could not get past the sacrilegious overtones of the clip, which quickly set social media ablaze with puzzlement, intrigue and criticism. 

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