Boner Candidate #1: JERK ON A JET SKI
A rider on a jet ski has been placed behind bars after using his vessel to knock a fisherman off of their kayak intentionally. TikToker coastalfloats has the video all recorded to showcase the jet skis riding in close. Once coastalfloats confronted the rider issues only as escalated as the rider decided to circle back to ride over the kayaker which put him and his expensive equipment in the water. The video was clear enough that the jet skier was identified by his hull number. The fisherman found that the driver of the jet ski was arrested with a slew of charges but currently resides outside of jail.
Boner Candidate #2: TAKING A LEAK IN THE HOSPITAL SINK? REALLY DOC?
Dr Graham Evangele Eli Michael Holmes astonished his coworkers when they found him dirtying up the sink with his pee. Nurse Christine Dolan said of the incident, “As I walked past I paused as I was shocked to see through the window that looks out onto the corridor, blinds fully open, standing very close, side on to the window, by the clinic room sink, fully clothed with his penis in his hand over the sink. He had the tap running a cup in his other hand into which he was running water and pouring into the sink. He was not aware of being observed. I reported this immediately to my manager.” Helen Stratford, realized she had seen Dr Holmes do the same thing after speaking with Ms. Dolan. She said, “I thought I had witnessed something similar some days earlier, but I could not believe my eyes as I thought I also saw Dr Holmes peeing in the sink in the consulting room he used…” Dr. Holmes has since been fired.
WINNER!
Boner Candidate #3: THE COPS COOKED HIM, LITERALLY COOKED HIM.
The Phoenix Police Department is up against another lawsuit after a man suffered third-degree burns across his face as well as body during a detainment. Michael Kenyon, the detainee, had to stay in the hospital for over a month while healing from his injuries, although he was never charged for a crime for the incident. Kenyon’s attorney attested, “Phoenix police are demonstrating an utter disregard for human life over and over again. This young man was burned to the third degree because his skin was cooked on asphalt.” When his attorney was asked if he believed the officers cooked his skin, he responded, “There’s no doubt.”
