Boner Candidate #1: SHE WAS….IN THE MUCK, IF YOU WILL.
A north Michigan woman had to be rescued because she was trapped in the toilet an outhouse after attempting to retrieve her smart watch. An Apple watch costs a few hundred dollars, so the smart watch wasn’t the only thing plummeting in value. A Michigan officer said, “She was in the muck, if you will.” In a release, state police said, “If you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the containment area. Serious injury may occur.” The toilet was removed, and the woman was strapped to lift the woman out of the muck. Retrieving the watch while staying clean is ‘wrist-ful’ thinking.
via The Guardian
Boner Candidate #2: THERE WAS A RAPID DECOMPOSITION, IF YOU WILL.
The family of 63-year-old Bessie Durham, who’s dead body was found inside of a restroom after four days passed, is heartbroken while filing a lawsuit against Bessie’s employer for negligence. Bessie was a contracted custodian at a mall retailer. She entered the restroom around 7 a.m. on September 15 where cardiac issues caused her death shortly after. First responder stated they “immediately smelled the stench of [Durham’s] decomposing body.” The lawsuit filed for damages, pain, and other costs related to the incident is in excess of $7,500. He body rapidly decomposed due the employers negligence.
via Fox 13
Boner Candidate #3: AND HE NEVER SERVED IN THE MILITARY.
Tommy Tuberville has recently placed a $250,000 investment in stock to telecommunications technology company, Qualcomm Inc. Tommy serves on the U.S. Senate Committee on Armed Services. Qualcomm has receieved multiple dozen defense contracts from the government over the last few decades. Dylan Hedtler-Gaudette, senior government affairs manager with the Project on Government Oversight, stated “The senator’s personal financial position is directly tied to the financial position of specific companies that receive billions of dollars in taxpayer funded government contracts.”
via Alternet
