Boner Candidate #1: HEY, IT’S ONLY A REPLICA RIFLE.
Northridge High School in Layton was placed on lockdown Monday morning after a report that someone entered the building with a weapon. Police determined the individual was the school’s ROTC instructor carrying a training replica rifle following a weekend event, and no threat was found. The lockdown was lifted after about 30 minutes, classes resumed, and the district said it would make corrections to prevent similar incidents.
Boner Candidate #2: FIND HIM AND ARREST HIM
An antisemitic verbal assault against a woman was captured on video Saturday night at Mole Mexican Bar & Grill in New York’s West Village, showing a man shouting slurs and threats after the woman confronted him. Witnesses said the man became increasingly aggressive, at one point getting close to the woman’s face before being escorted out, leaving those involved shaken. The incident, widely shared online, comes amid heightened concern over antisemitic violence following other recent attacks targeting Jewish communities.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: THE FBI HAS NO CLUE AND THAT’S THE UNIVERSITIES FAULT
President Donald Trump defended FBI Director Kash Patel after Patel prematurely announced that a person of interest had been identified in the Brown University mass shooting, a claim later contradicted by local authorities who released the individual. Speaking from the Oval Office, Trump downplayed the error, praised the FBI’s response time, and shifted responsibility toward the university and local law enforcement. Patel has faced mounting criticism for a series of investigative missteps during his tenure, including previous false claims about suspects in other high-profile cases. Despite rumors that Patel’s performance has embarrassed the administration, the White House has publicly continued to stand by him.
