!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #1: SMILE. IT’S ARMAGEDDON TIME.
The Military Religious Freedom Foundation reports more than 100 complaints from U.S. service members who say commanders have described military operations in Iran as part of biblical end-times prophecy about Armageddon and the return of Jesus Christ. Sociologist Landon Schnabel argues that while many Americans believe in such prophecy, it becomes problematic when military leaders present those beliefs in official briefings, potentially violating principles of religious freedom and military neutrality. Religion scholar Kim Haines-Eitzen adds that interpretations suggesting Christians should help bring about the end times misread the Book of Revelation, which was originally written as a message of hope during crisis rather than a call for political or military action.
Boner Candidate #2: WHEN FOX NEWS SAYS, IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE YOU KNOW IT WAS NEITHER HONEST NOR A MISTAKE.
Fox News apologized after mistakenly airing archival footage of Donald Trump without a hat during coverage of a dignified transfer ceremony for U.S. soldiers killed in the Middle East, which took place at Dover Air Force Base. The network said a staff member accidentally used older footage from a previous ceremony, though correct footage was shown at other times, and anchor Griff Jenkins issued an on-air correction and apology. Some critics questioned whether the mistake was intentional, while others, including Fox host Johnny Joey Jones and journalist Mehdi Hasan, publicly reacted, with Jones calling the incident embarrassing but likely an honest error.
Boner Candidate #3: GETTING’ BUSY IN THE PORTA POTTY.
Hartley Sanchez of Vero Beach, Florida was charged with felony escape after leaving his assigned work detail at a fundraiser hosted by the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office to have sex in a portable toilet. Surveillance footage reportedly showed Sanchez, who was jailed on theft and drug charges, walking away from his serving duties to meet two women before entering the porta-potty with one of them. Authorities later confirmed the woman was a recently released inmate, and Sanchez now faces up to 15 years in prison for the escape charge.
