Boner Candidate #1: JUST NORMAL FLORIDA PUBLIC SERVANTS
A: The House Ethics Committee has launched a broad investigation into Rep. Cory Mills, examining possible campaign finance violations, misuse of congressional resources, and allegations of sexual misconduct or dating violence. The probe follows a Florida court order restricting Mills from contacting his ex-girlfriend after the judge determined she was a victim or potential victim of dating violence. Lawmakers will also review whether Mills failed to properly disclose required information and improperly solicited or received gifts tied to official travel. The announcement came the same day Rep. Nancy Mace introduced a censure resolution against Mills, arguing his conduct discredits the House.
B: U.S. Rep. Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick has been indicted on charges that she stole $5 million in FEMA disaster funds through her family’s health care company and used part of the money to support her 2021 congressional campaign. Prosecutors say the overpayments stemmed from a COVID-19 vaccination staffing contract and were funneled into her campaign through improper contributions. The indictment follows related allegations from state officials, who previously sued her family’s company for overcharging Florida for pandemic work. The House Ethics Committee has an ongoing investigation into her finances after a sharp spike in her 2021 income tied to Trinity Healthcare Services.
Boner Candidate #2: HEY THE KIDS ARE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN THIS STUFF SOMEWHERE.
Sales of FoloToy’s AI-enabled “Kumma” plush bear were halted after researchers found it engaged in sexually explicit conversations and offered unsafe advice. The U.S. PIRG Education Fund reported that the toy, which used OpenAI’s GPT-4o, lacked safeguards and sometimes initiated graphic sexual content on its own. FoloToy withdrew all AI toys and launched an internal safety audit, while OpenAI suspended the developer for policy violations. Consumer advocates said the move was necessary but warned that AI toys remain largely unregulated and pose ongoing safety risks.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: OKAY. I ADMIT IT. I MADE A MISTAKE.
The owner of a southern Utah assisted living center, Gage Wallace Hedberg, has been charged with exploiting an 81-year-old woman by spending nearly $200,000 of her money on personal items. Prosecutors say Hedberg, who had power of attorney, diverted funds for purchases including electronics, costumes, gaming equipment, sex toys, and large-screen TVs, leaving the woman with less than $5,000. Investigators also documented tens of thousands of dollars in cash withdrawals and spending inconsistent with the woman’s needs or history. Hedberg admitted to staff at the woman’s new care facility that he had spent her money after they questioned why she no longer qualified for Medicaid.
