!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #1: SHE NEEDS PROTECTION BECAUSE THINGS GET UGLY EVERY TIME SHE DOES WHAT SHE CALLS SINGING
F.B.I. Director Kash Patel has faced growing internal and public scrutiny for using taxpayer-funded resources, including government jets and SWAT agents, for travel and security related to his girlfriend, aspiring country singer Alexis Wilkins. Patel repeatedly directed specialized tactical teams to protect Wilkins at events, an unusual practice that former officials say exceeds standard protocol and strains resources. He has also taken multiple personal trips on government aircraft, including to Scotland and Texas, prompting comparisons to his predecessors and accusations of hypocrisy given his past criticism of such behavior. Critics, including conservative commentators, question why Wilkins receives extensive government protection, while Patel’s spokesperson argues that hundreds of credible threats against her justify the measures. The controversy has intensified as Patel moves to limit public visibility of his travel and dismisses officials he blames for revealing flight details.
Boner Candidate #2: THAT’S WHAT CAMPBELL’S SOUP IS: MMM,MMM, RACIST.
A Campbell’s security analyst, Robert Garza, was fired shortly after reporting a recorded rant in which company vice president Martin Bally allegedly disparaged Campbell’s products and made racist remarks about Indian employees. Garza claims he disclosed the behavior to a supervisor after initially keeping the recording to himself, only to be terminated 20 days later despite having no prior disciplinary issues. He is now contesting his dismissal and pursuing legal action, arguing the company conducted no investigation and offered no explanation for the abrupt firing.
Boner Candidate #3: IT SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR THAT THE BROTHER JUST WANTED TO BE RID OF HER.
A 65-year-old Thai woman believed to be dead shocked temple staff when she began moving and knocking from inside her coffin as her brother brought her for cremation. The temple manager said the woman, bedridden for two years, had been unresponsive for days, and her brother had transported her without a death certificate after a hospital declined to accept her organs. After discovering she was alive, temple staff sent her to a nearby hospital, with the temple pledging to cover her medical expenses.
