Boner Candidate #1: BEING A SHORT MAN IN MODERN SOCIETY IS A CURSE
38 year old Frank underwent a painful and expensive leg-lengthening surgery in Turkey to increase his height by nearly 3 inches, part of a growing trend among men seeking the controversial procedure. The process involves breaking the femurs, inserting metal rods, and slowly stretching the bones as new growth fills the gaps. While the global limb-lengthening industry is expected to reach $8.6 billion by 2030, the surgery carries significant risks including blood clots, chronic pain, and even death. Despite suffering a pulmonary embolism and draining his mortgage savings, Frank believes the procedure was worth it to overcome what he describes as the social stigma of being short.
Boner Candidate #2: AND HE REFUSED TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE WAS DOING AT AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND
Emergency responders in Vernon, Connecticut rescued a 40-year-old man who became stuck inside a tube slide at Northeast Elementary School. The man was wedged head and feet first in the slide, folded at the waist. Firefighters used ventilation to keep him cool and removed part of the slide to free him after 30 minutes. He declined medical treatment and refused to be taken to the hospital.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: HELLO. POLICE? WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND MY MOTHER TO PICK ME UP? DO NOT SEND POLICE, JUST MY MOTHER. OKAY?
28 year old Brad-Lee Bellmore was arrested for intentionally setting three fires at Confluence Park in La Verkin, Utah, which burned 50 acres before being contained by multiple fire fighters. Witnesses claim to have saw him using a lighter to start the fires before fleeing on a bike, and he later called dispatch under a false name, asking not to have police sent to his location. He was eventually found with air support and admitted to being near the flames; suppression costs exceeded $20,000. Bellmore, who was already out on bail for a separate offense, now faces three counts of second-degree arson, with local residents calling the act “domestic terrorism” due to the danger it posed.
