Boner Candidate #1: WOMEN ARE THE PEOPLE THAT PEOPLE COME OUT OF
Pete Hegseth, the Defense Secretary, has republished a video that has the leader of the Christian Evangelical movement following it by claiming that he wants to make gay sex illegal with the caption “All of Christ for All of Life.” In the video; Wilson, Co-Founder of the Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches, states “In the late ’70s and early ’80s, sodomy was a felony in all 50 states, that America of that day was not a totalitarian hellhole.” Also in the video Hegseth claims that slave owners were “decent human beings” and that women should only care and focus on children. Wilson states, “Women are the kind of people that people come out of.” Ever since Hegseth has taken over the Pentagon, has established stricter standards for fitness and has removed around 5 senior female military officials of their roles.
!!!Winner!!!
Boner Candidate #2: THE STATE SCHOOL BOARD KICKS THINGS OFF WITH INCREDIBLE REMARKS FROM MEMBER CHRISTINA BOGGESS
(Audio Boner)
Boner Candidate #3: THERE IS A NEW ICE CREAM THAT PEOPLE ARE REALLY LATCHING ON TO
A DUMBO ice cream shop in Brooklyn has offered a new limited-time favor, Human Breast Milk. The Breast milk ice cream advertises “just like mom used to make.” The ice cream isn’t actually made with human breast milk, it is made with a supplement that is found in breast milk called liposomal bovine colostrum. A customer stated, “I was breastfed by my mother from 1974 to about 1978.5, but I certainly don’t remember that, so it still emotionally, mentally surprised me.” Another customer, who was blissfully unaware on how ice cream was made, stated “Isn’t all ice cream breast milk? Doesn’t all ice cream come from the udders of a cow? It just seems like it’s a different word for ice cream. Because ice cream must be breast milk. Am I wrong about that?”
