Boner Candidate #1: HE SHOULD GET SOME POINTS FOR CREATIVITY
An elderly Japanese woman in her 80s was scammed out of \$6,700 by a fraudster posing as a stranded astronaut who claimed he needed money for oxygen. The scam began through social media as a romance scheme, a tactic increasingly used to exploit vulnerable seniors in Japan. Authorities warn that such scams are part of a growing global trend, with romance frauds costing victims over 1 billion dollars in 2023 alone.
Boner Candidate #2: HE LITERALLY FELL THROUGH THE CEILING
A quiet evening at the Springs Apartments in Midvale turned chaotic when fugitive Jeremy Jensen tried to escape police by hiding in the attic but crashed through a neighbor’s ceiling. The incident began around 6 p.m. as officers pursued a separate fugitive and unexpectedly encountered Jensen. Residents described the scene as intense, with police rushing in and one officer carrying a riot shield. Jensen was quickly apprehended and now faces multiple charges, including trespassing and drug-related offenses.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: HE MERELY TRIED TO GOUGE OUT HER EYE. HE WASN’T SUCCESSFUL.
Oklahoma State Representative Ty Burns received a one-year suspended sentence after pleading guilty to multiple misdemeanor domestic violence charges, including assaulting his wife and running her and their daughter off the road. Despite the seriousness of the incidents, such as attempting to gouge out his wife’s eye and aggressively chasing a van with children inside, he will avoid jail time but must complete a Batterers Intervention Program. Following his guilty plea, Burns resigned from office, citing the need to focus on his family and undergo counseling for unresolved issues tied to his military service. The Oklahoma Attorney General’s Office prosecuted the case after the local district attorney recused himself.
