Boner Candidate #1: NO WORD ON WHY SHE CHOSE THE COSTUME SHE DID
58 year old Marcia Morgan was arrested in St. Petersburg, FL, for disorderly conduct after covering a neighbor’s car with toilet paper while dressed in a hot dog costume and intoxicated. She pleaded no contest to the charges, receiving a $550 fine or the option of community service. It is yet unknown why she did what she did.
Boner Candidate #2: BRITISH AIRWAYS PRE-FLIGHT METH BINGE
41 year old Haden Pentecost, a British Airways flight attendant, was found naked and disoriented in the airplane lavatory during a flight from California to London after testing positive for methamphetamine. He had shown signs of severe impairment before takeoff, failed to perform safety checks, and was later hospitalized upon arrival at Heathrow. Pentecost pleaded guilty to performing an aviation function while impaired and has since been fired.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: THE BUTT-SNIFFING BANDIT
38 year old Calese Carron Crowder, dubbed the “butt-sniffing bandit,” was arrested again in Burbank, California, for allegedly sniffing a woman’s buttocks at a Walgreens—his second arrest for the same behavior within a month. Crowder, a registered sex offender with a history of similar incidents dating back to 2021, was previously charged in July after being caught on surveillance engaging in lewd behavior at a Nordstrom Rack. He now faces multiple charges, with bail set at $100,000.
