Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for March 21 2016

Boner Candidate #1: YOU HAVE A CAR? NO FOOD FOR YOU.

Alabama Republicans say they want a new bill to drastically limit state welfare programs so that recipients will get jobs — but the bill eliminates the most common means of transportation to and from work. The bill, created by Republican Sen. Arthur Orr, cuts the time frame for assistance from five years to three. It also creates a new layer of bureaucracy for poor people seeking help, including the requirement that they sign a contract vowing to adhere to the program’s rules. It also disqualifies people from getting food stamps or financial assistance for families with children if the recipients own cars, according to the Montgomery Advertiser. “We want to get people working back in the workforce and not hanging out for public benefits because they can,” Orr told the paper. The bill will go to the state Senate after clearing committee 10-3, according to the Advertiser. It limits the programs SNAP, or food stamps, and TANF, or Temporary Aid for Needy Families.

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Boner Candidate #2: THIS PROBABLY COULD NOT BE ANY CREEPIER

A New York father is facing up to 250 years in prison after admitting to a court Monday that he posed as his daughter’s online boyfriend so he could extort nude photographs from her. The Herkimer County man, who was not identified to protect the identity of the 14-year-old victim, pleaded guilty in federal court to 12 counts of enticing a child to produce child pornography and receiving and sending child porn, Syracuse.com reports. He also is facing sexual abuse charges in Herkimer County Court. Court papers revealed that the man set up fake accounts with Instagram, AOL and a texting service in September 2013 and started chatting online with his daughter, posing as a 16-year-old boy from Watertown. The pair started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend – even though they never met. By November, the girl told him she wanted to break up with him – but she had already sent him sexually explicit photos after repeated requests.

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Boner Candidate #3: HE WAS CAUGHT STEALING SECURITY CAMERAS BY THE SECURITY CAMERAS HE WAS STEALING

Metro police said a man accused of stealing security cameras was caught on video, which led to his arrest. Security cameras were recording as they were being ripped from the ceiling of the EZ laundromat in Pleasure Ridge Park. On March 9, a man began to check every corner of the empty laundromat on Flintlock Drive. “He kind of walked back in this area here. Looked back at the door. There were a couple of cameras right over his head,” Micah Reed, of EZ Wash, said. Reed said the man was literally hanging on the cameras until they gave way. He wasn’t using any tools. Reed said he left with four cameras. The last one he took near the front door was a decoy. Police said Thomas Stillwell, 35, was arrested. Reed said it’s not the first time they’ve broken into, but they’ve worked to improve security. “Failure in the sense our cameras are gone. But, a success in the sense that hopefully there is some justice that comes from it,” Reed said.

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