ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1:I’LL GO OUT IF I WANT TO GO OUT. YOU CAN’T STOP ME.
A leader of the ReOpen NC group revealed in a Facebook post that she tested positive for COVID-19. Audrey Whitlock posted to the ReOpen NC Facebook page early Sunday saying her two-week quarantine was ending. She described herself as an “an asymptomatic COVID19 positive patient.” Whitlock is one of the administrators of the ReOpen NC Facebook page – which has helped organize two protests in downtown Raleigh calling for Gov. Roy Cooper to lift his stay-at-home order. She didn’t respond to CBS 17’s request for an interview. Smith said Whitlock believed she had the virus in January and contacted the Mecklenburg County Health Department. In the beginning of April, Whitlock was administered an antibody test, as well as the COVID-19 test. According to Smith, Whitlock’s antibody test came back negative, but she tested positive for the virus.
BONER CANDIDATE #2:THEM AIN’T MINE. THEY BELONG TO…AH…JOHN WICK. YEAH THAT’S THE TICKET.
After cops found a pair of firearms and a Kevlar vest in his SUV, a Florida Man disavowed ownership of the weapons, claiming he had sold the vehicle “to his cousin John Wick,” an arrest affidavit states. Responding early yesterday to a 911 call about a domestic violence incident, cops questioned Getro Gelin, 27, at his residence in Port St. Lucie. A woman told police that Gelin shoved her to the ground and threatened her with a firearm. After the victim said that Gelin may have hidden the gun in his Porsche SUV, cops searched the vehicle and recovered a Glock 21 pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, and a bulletproof vest. When asked about the guns in the auto, Gelin “replied he had sold the Porsche to his cousin John Wick.” Gelin subsequently “stated he lied about the name, but that he would not reveal his cousin’s name.”
BONER CANDIDATE #3:CANNY CANE ATTACK
In the dark days of quarantine, a Florida Woman brought a little holiday spirit into her home by allegedly battering a male victim with a candy cane, according to a police report. Cops say that Christina Zicuis, 35, got into an argument early Saturday morning with the victim inside a Clearwater residence. The couple quarreled “about Christina’s daughter who is not alive.” The dispute turned violent when Zicuis stabbed the victim in the arm with a pen, causing him to depart the home. Zicuis then allegedly chased the man into the front yard and tossed a brick (which missed Zicuis’s fleeing target). Zicuis then “threw a candy cane at the victim’s left arm, causing bruising and swelling to his elbow,” reported a Clearwater cop who listed “CANDY” as the weapon wielded by Zicuis.
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1:IT WAS THE VODKA.
Duck Dynasty’ star Willie Robertson is resting a bit easier after the suspect in the drive-by shooting of his Louisiana estate has been arrested by police. It appears the suspect was drinking Vodka while allegedly firing his weapon at the home. According to multiple reports, Daniel Dean King has been arrested in connection with the drive-by shooting at the ‘Duck Dynasty’ star’s home. The suspect was booked on charges of felony assault by drive-by shooting and another count of misdemeanor criminal neglect of family. He is currently being on a $150,000 bond. A newly released police affidavit says King was the passenger in a white Ford F-250 and was in possession of a .380 caliber handgun. Cops claim an underage witness in the car admitted to police that King pulled a gun and pointed out of the window, firing several shots from the moving truck.
BONER CANDIDATE #2:OKAY. WE WILL BE BACK
A welcome mat at the front door of a Florida home read “come back with a warrant” — and that’s just what deputies did before finding drugs and drug paraphernalia inside. The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports the home in Palm Coast was part of an investigation into illegal drugs. After seeing the doormat, authorities say the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office got the warrant. Deputies found fentanyl and drug paraphernalia inside during a search late last week. “This poison peddler had a doormat that said, ‘Come back with a warrant,’ so we did!” Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly said.
BONER CANDIDATE #3:MY CUTICLES WERE A DISASTER
The mayor of a southern Texas city apologized for violating her own stay-at-home order after a photo surfaced on social media of her at a nail salon. The trip Tuesday by Beaumont Mayor Becky Ames to the closed salon has sparked an investigation by the district attorney. In the image, the mayor is seen wearing a face mask as she’s seated at a table with her hands in a bowl of water. According to NBC affiliate KBMT in Beaumont, the photo was taken at The Nail Bar. The photo sparked backlash from people who criticized the mayor for disobeying her order in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. On Thursday, Ames issued an apology saying she had a “lapse in judgment.”Tela Mange, a spokesperson for the state’s licensing and regulation department, said that if it is determined that a violation occurred their findings will be turned over to the agency’s prosecutor. If the prosecutor agrees, a fine of up to $1,000 could be imposed.
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