Boners

Boner of the Day for June 17th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: DID THEY LOWER THE VOTING AGE?

Local and state elections officials say a state computer system is to blame for a glitch that sent ballots for the upcoming primary election to dozens of teens who’d recently applied for driver licenses. In Utah, 16- and 17-year-olds can “pre-register” to vote when they file paperwork for a driver license. Under normal circumstances, the system tags the name as ineligible at first and then is programmed to change its status on the driver’s 18th birthday. But an error last week caused 150 new licensed drivers in several counties to be given active status right away. “Very small glitch and I’m glad we caught it early,” said Justin Lee, the state’s director of elections. One hundred of the mistake ballots went to teens in Utah County, which Lee says caught the error first. Local election director Rozan Mitchell said they started receiving phone calls the day ballots went out.

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Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS A BONER, BECAUSE I’LL NEVER FORGIVE THEM

Believe it or not, it was only a couple months ago that we were introduced to Baby Nut, the new mascot for Planters peanut products. Although it seems like years have gone by since Baby Nut debuted at the Superbowl back in February, people have started to see him on Planters product cans in stores just recently. To put it simply, Baby Nut was born after Mr. Peanut died in a van crash off the side of a cliff. During the Planters Superbowl commercial that showed Mr. Peanut’s funeral, a tear from the Kool-Aid man’s eye drops onto the ground and Baby Nut was born. If that sounds absolutely absurd to you, that’s because it totally was. Still, once Baby Nut was born, the internet became thoroughly obsessed. But after all the initial tweets, fan art, and Baby Nut merch, we didn’t see much of Baby Nut anywhere. Mr. Peanut (may he rest in peace) could still be found on all of the Planters products at the store—until now. It seems that Planters packaging is steadily changing to showcase the new mascot.

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Boner Candidate #3: I GUESS I’LL RESIGN. JUST KIDDING.

Weber State University Professor Scott Senjo has withdrawn his resignation and will no longer be stepping down from his position — an about-face that comes after he admitted to making several threatening comments on Twitter about those involved in the nationwide police protests. The school confirmed Senjo’s decision Tuesday, saying he “rescinded his resignation” in accordance with university policy. Tenured professors at Weber have five business days after giving notice to change their mind, said the school’s spokeswoman Allison Barlow Hess. “With his resignation withdrawn,” she added, “Professor Senjo returns to being on leave while Weber State conducts a review of the impact of his tweets on university operations.” He will now continue to be paid while the school investigates. Weber President Brad Mortensen sent a letter to faculty and students, though, that said Senjo “remains out of the classroom.” Senjo had originally quit June 3. At the time, he told The Salt Lake Tribune that he regretted his tweets and would step down “to suffer the consequences.”

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: AND THEY HAVEN’T BEEN WASHED.

Steve Kerr’s Chicago Bulls shorts — rocked by the sharpshooter when he knocked down one of the most historic shots in NBA history — just hit the auction block. The white Champion brand shorts are from Game 6 of the 1997 NBA Finals … where Michael Jordan’s Bulls squad took on Karl Malone, John Stockton and the Utah Jazz. The Bulls led the series, 3-2 … heading in to Game 6 at the United Center on June 13, 1997. It was a super tight game that went down to the wire. With 5 seconds left in the game — and the Bulls trailing by 1 point — the Jazz defense expected Jordan to attempt the game-winning shot. However, Jordan kicked it out to a wide-open Kerr — who nailed a 17-foot dagger of a jump shot — securing the Bulls 5th NBA Championship. FYI — Kerr scored 9 points. Jordan dropped 39. The shorts — photomatched to ensure authenticity — are on the auction block at Lelands Auctions.

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Boner Candidate #2: DON’T FALL FOR THE RIP-OFFS

Rayshard Brooks’ family members say fake GoFundMe pages soliciting donations on their behalf have sprung up all over the crowd-sourcing site … and they want ’em gone, immediately. One of Rayshard’s cousins, Decatur Redd, tells TMZ … he and his other relatives have spotted a ton of fraudulent pages in recent days for Rayshard and/or “his family.” He says it’s frustrating nuisance for the real family, because they’ve only approved one true GFM. We’re told Decatur reached out to GoFundMe to get these phony pages taken down, but hasn’t heard back, so he’s warning the public — do NOT fall for these opportunistic rip-off pages. We reached out, and GoFundMe says it’s aware of the situation, and keeping an eye out for fakes pages. From the looks of it, some of them have been deleted already. It also looks like the legit page is amassing the majority of donations — upwards of $105k and counting. The phonies have a small fraction of that, so it seems most of the public is hip to the game.

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Boner Candidate #3: A PROMINENT UTAH SLAVE OWNER.

Abraham O. Smoot was hailed in a 2015 Brigham Young University magazine article as being “undaunted, powerful, and immovable … [having] a dignity to his presence, a rugged grandeur.” The 19th-century pioneer and benefactor was lauded for being a leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and for financing the forerunner to the faith’s flagship school. The administration building on the Provo campus even bears his name. Nowhere in these accolades, however, does it mention that Smoot owned at least one slave — and, historians say, likely more. While doing research this week for his groundbreaking database, Century of Black Mormons, scholar W. Paul Reeve discovered that an enslaved man known only as “Tom, Brother Churches [sic] black man,” had been baptized into the church. Reeve, a professor of Mormon studies at the University of Utah, was already aware of the outlines of Tom’s life, he said in an interview Thursday, because of the work of other researchers, including Amy Tanner Thiriot, but not about his church membership. Tom came to Utah in 1852 as an enslaved man of Haden Wells Church, a Latter-day Saint convert from Tennessee. They were in Smoot’s migrant company and settled near Smoot, who would become mayor of Salt Lake City and, later, Provo.

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