Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for May 12th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1:HOW MUCH IS AN INORDINATE AMOUNT?

New Jersey state officials opened parks but kept the bathrooms closed and that has created a new problem. On Monday afternoon, the head of the state police reported an “inordinate amount” of urine and feces were being left behind on the ground and in bottles in state parks over the holiday weekend. Col. Patrick Callahan said, “There is a zero-tolerance policy for that.  The whole idea behind the parks is to give our citizens the ability to go out there and enjoy fresh air and have time outside.” He called the reports disheartening and hinted that parks could be closed again if the trend continues. Governor Phil Murphy also warned that no warnings would be issued and anyone caught leaving human waste behind would be ticketed and fined. County and state parks were reopened on Saturday, May 2, 2020, after being closed for nearly a month due to fears that visitors could spread the coronavirus.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2:YOU NEED A PLUMBER, NOT A COPPER

A British police department is reminding the public not to call the 999 emergency numbers for non-emergency situations after someone called to report their taps weren’t dispensing hot water. The West Yorkshire Police Contact Management Center said a recent caller to the 999 emergency number, Britain’s equivalent of 911, reported their hot water wasn’t working. “If you haven’t got any hot water and your heating isn’t working then you’ll need an engineer. Ringing 999 and asking for the police won’t help you,” the center tweeted.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3:SEND HIM BACK TO THE SUMMER OF ’69

Bryan Adams has been branded ‘racist’ over a shocking social media post which appeared to blame the ongoing coronavirus pandemic on China and its citizens.   The rocker, 60, came under fire for the post – shared on Instagram and Twitter- in which he blamed the pandemic on ‘bat eating b*****ds’. He wrote: ‘Tonight was supposed to be the beginning of a tenancy of gigs at the @royalalberthall, but thanks to some f****ing bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy b*******, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus. Eye opening: Bryan Adams has been branded ‘racist’ over a shocking social media post which appeared to blame the ongoing coronavirus pandemic on China and its citizens The hitmaker seemed to blame denizens of Wuhan, China, where the virus is believed to have originated, for eating meat and selling live animals.

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ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1:I KNOW WHAT LET’S DO.

Some people can’t find toilet paper to buy, but Khloe Kardashian is out here wasting it for an extremely ill-timed prank targeting sister Kourtney Kardashian.  No one has ever accused the KarJenner clan of being in step with the struggles of normal, non-famous types (see: “Kim, there are people that are dying” meme) but the family’s plummeted to a new level of yikes with their latest controversy during the global coronavirus pandemic.  Absolutely failing to read the room, Khloe and nephew Mason Disick decided to waste numerous rolls of toilet paper by TP’ing her sister’s mansion in Calabasas, California, over the weekend for an early Mother’s Day prank.   Kourtney captured the aftermath on her Instagram Stories on Saturday, calling the move “actually genius” and promising revenge.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2:ALL THAT OVER MASK WEARING

A security guard was left with a broken arm following a physical confrontation with two men who refused to wear masks inside a Target in Van Nuys, California. The incident on May 1 started when a group of four security guards were escorting two men out of the store, according to the Los Angeles Police Department. A physical confrontation ensued when one of the two men turned out and started hitting one of the guards, which was captured on surveillance video. One of the guards suffered a broken arm. Additional details on his condition were not immediately available. The suspects, who are believed to be homeless, left the store but were arrested this weekend, according to Lt. Jim Gavin.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3:YOU HUNGRY PEOPLE GET A BOX OF GARBAGE.

A YouTuber has been arrested for handing out boxes of rubbish to transgender women. Indonesian police launched a manhunt for Ferdian Paleka and his friend after they shared a video of the sick ‘prank’ online.  Paleka was finally arrested on Friday and is now facing up to 12 years in prison. In the video, which went viral early last week, the Youtube star joined two others in putting bricks and rotten food inside noodle boxes. He and a friend then gave the packages out to young transgender women in the streets of Bandung, West Java, Indonesia. They referred to their victims as ‘bencong’, which is a derogatory Indonesian word for transgender women.

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