Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates February 4, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: THE SAD, SAD BUSH CAMPAIGN.

GOP presidential hopeful Jeb Bush made a cringe-worthy plea Tuesday in New Hampshire to a college student who has never voted before. “I want to be your first,” he told the student, according to Washington Post reporter Ed O’Keefe,who tweeted the awkward exchange. The former Florida governor had been taking questions at a town hall event in Rindge, NH. He is in the Granite State after suffering a shellacking in the Iowa caucus. Bush garnered just 2.8 percent of the Republican turnout on Monday — placing him a distant sixth among the other candidates, despite reportedly spending $2,884 per vote.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE NEED TO DO AWAY WITH FRATERNITIES IN GENERAL.

Alpha Epsilon Pi fraternity members at the University of Chicago referred to a Muslim student-activist on campus as a “terrorist” and planned to celebrate “Marathon Luther King Day” by drinking and eating at a fried chicken restaurant, according to emails obtained by BuzzFeed News. The internal emails are the latest in a line of controversies that have rocked American fraternities. A university official denounced the comments as “offensive,” and the fraternity promised an investigation into the emails — sent to the AEPi chapter listserv between 2011 and 2015, reaching active brothers and alumni — which were provided by a fraternity member on the condition he not be identified because he didn’t want to damage his career prospects. In the emails, members defended the use of the n-word included in a brother’s nickname, referred to an abandoned lot as “Palestine,” and described the two fixtures of Islamic culture as “dynamite and C-4” explosives.

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Boner Candidate #3: I HAD A FAMILY TO SUPPORT.

Eduardo Cornejo, a 10-year veteran of the NYPD, was fired last month for failing a random drug test. He was also, however, being investigated by the FBI and the Police Department’s Internal Affairs Bureau for running a prostitution ring out of various area motels. On Tuesday, Cornejo was charged with transporting women in interstate commerce to engage in prostitution (a federal offense). The United States attorney’s office for the Eastern District of New York accuses Cornejo, 33, of employing 10 prostitutes, who he drove to motels in New Jersey and on Staten Island and Long Island. In a statement, Diego Rodriguez, assistant director in charge of the F.B.I.’s New York field office, said “Cornejo not only abused the public trust given to him as an N.Y.P.D. officer, but he showed no human decency when he facilitated the exploitation of women for profit.” “Police officers, like all public servants, are held to a higher standard, and should not violate the very same laws they are supposed to enforce.” TheNew York Post reports that Carnejo is an ex-Marine, and that his estranged wife is also a cop.

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