Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for February 16 2016

Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS VITAL TO OUR ORGANIZATION

For six years, a building supervisor in Spain quietly collected a $41,500 salary from his local government without showing up for work.  And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for him getting an award for his 20 years of loyal service. Joaquín García, 69, was recently fined $30,000 for the extended paid vacation from a water treatment plant in Cádiz — the maximum penalty government officials could deliver, the BBC reported. According to deputy mayor Jorge Blas, it wasn’t until Garcia was due to be recognized for his hard work in 2010 that authorities realized his office was sitting vacant. “I wondered whether he was still working there, had he retired, had he died? But the payroll showed he was still receiving a salary,” Blas told Spanish newspaper El Mundo, according to The Local.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE ODD TEACHING TECHNIQUES IN CENTRAL FLORIDA

A former Seminole County teacher accused of showing a wooden carving of a penis to her students, using obscene language and encouraging students to abuse each other is now permanently barred from teaching in Florida public schools. The teaching certificate of Jeanne Michaud, who taught math at Longwood’s Lyman High, has been permanently revoked, according to a settlement agreement approved last month by the Education Practices Commission. The veteran teacher was one of several Central Florida educators disciplined recently by the quasi-judicial group, which levies penalties against educator’s certificates. The educators neither admit nor deny the allegations, but choose not to contest them, according to the agreements. Michaud showed students a crude wooden carving of a penis and testicles, which was one of several similar sculptures left on the campus as a senior prank in 2009. She told a school district investigator she thought the prank was “humorous,” took one and kept it stashed in a classroom cabinet.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S PRISON FOOD. QUIT YER BITCHIN’

Unions representing prison workers reported on Monday that mouse excrement had been discovered on breakfast rolls served to inmates over the weekend at the Albolote penitentiary in the province of Granada. One union, CCOO, said that prison workers decided to take the rolls off the menu “in order to avoid health problems that may arise from consuming them and because protests from inmates will result in regimental incidents.” CCOO added that the finding of rodent droppings signaled that the prison did not yet have its mouse problem under control as had been promised by the director.

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