Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates February 17, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO… THESE KIDS ARE WITCHES.

Heartbreaking photos of a starving boy in Nigeria have garnered over a £100,000 in donations and highlighted the issue of superstition across the country. The boy, dubbed Hope, was found emaciated and abandoned after being accused of being a witch. Anja Ringgren Lovén, an aid worker from Denmark, shared the photos to Facebook, saying, “Thousands of children are being accused of being witches and we’ve both seen torture of children, dead children and frightened children.“This footage shows why I fight. Why I sold everything I own.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: LET THE MAN HAVE HIS CHRISTMAS DISPLAY

A suburban township in southwest Ohio is dropping its court case against a man charged with zoning violations for his holiday “Zombie Nativity” scene, an official said Tuesday. Jasen Dixon’s display had ghoulish figures in place of the baby Jesus and others who would be in traditional Christmas Nativities. Sycamore Township officials said he violated rules about an improper “accessory use” structure housing the nativity scene in his front yard.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: I WAS PARTYING WITH THE CAPTAIN

A 24-year-old woman faces a charge of child neglect after she got drunk while caring for a young child, lawmen say.According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office, the woman’s father came home after being away for about two hours and found his daughter, Whitney L. Kilcrease, lying unconscious on the floor with the child playing nearby. When she awoke, she became violent and started using profanity, the father said. She went next door to her uncle’s house and locked the door.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: HERE COME DA JUDGE….WEAVING TO THE COURT

If you can’t walk a straight line, how are you going to balance the scales of justice? An upstate New York judge was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated as she was heading to court on Saturday, state police say. Judge Leticia Astacio, 34, of Rochester was scheduled to oversee criminal arraignments when she was involved in a single-car accident on Interstate 490 around 8 a.m., WROC-TV reported. The former Monroe County Assistant District Attorney, who was elected as a Rochester City Court Judge in 2014, refused to take a breathalyzer test when approached by a state trooper, according to the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: AMERICA IS A BIG GUN? I’M CONFUSED.

In case you had any doubts about former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush’s patriotism or masculinity, he wants to put them to rest. Bush’s tweet came just hours after he met with employees at the FN USA firearms plant in Columbia, South Carolina. FN USA is a subsidiary of Fabrique Nationale d’Herstal, a Belgian firearms manufacturer. Backlash was swift elsewhere on Twitter, where users took issue with Bush’s one-word caption. Many pointed out that the nation’s relationship with guns correlates to a gun-homicide rate far higher than anywhere else in the developed world.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: CAN’T WE PUT SOME PEOPLE IN JAIL FOR THIS?

Residents of Flint, Michigan, one of the poorest cities in the United States, paid some of the nation’s highest water bills even as the city failed to treat drinking water properly, leading to lead contamination, according to a report released on Tuesday. The annual water bill in Flint as of January 2015 was $864.32 for a household using 60,000 gallons a year, said Washington-based advocacy group Food & Water Watch.

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