Boners

Boner Fight for April 24th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: I HAD NO CHOICE

A woman allegedly shot her husband dead after seeing he added a porn channel to their TV bill. Patricia Ann Hill, 69, is accused of shooting Frank Hill, 65, twice after she “flew into a rage”. Prosecutors described how Patricia, from Arkansas, America, had already deleted the channel from their subscription once, but “lost her mind” after seeing it re-added. She is accused of going into her husband’s shed, dubbed the ‘man cave’, to confront him before knocking over a table of his beer and cigarettes in anger. Patricia then allegedly returned to the house where she retrieved a pistol and shot her husband after walking back into his shed, according to the Pine Bluff Commercial. He was bending over picking up items she had thrown to the floor when she is accused of firing twice at him. Frank was shot once in the leg, then a second time near his upper body. She then returned to the house once again to call police and an ambulance. Her lawyer, Bill James, said the couple were “basically estranged”, but that her husband’s porn habit was a “personal affront to her and to her god. “She told him over and over again to stop, and he said he would but went right back to doing it”.

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Boner Candidate #2: YEAH, YOU ARE CHRIST LIKE,FOR SURE

U.S. Rep. Steve King said that after facing months of criticism for comments in the New York Times about white supremacy and nationalism, he better understands the persecution Jesus Christ felt. The 4th District representative made the comments in response to a question from the Rev. Pinky Person of the Faith In Christ Fellowship, who told King during a town hall Tuesday in Cherokee that she was concerned that “Christianity is really being persecuted.” “When I have to step down to the floor of the House of Representatives, and look up at those 400-and-some accusers — you know we just passed through Easter and Christ’s passion — and I have better insight into what He went through for us, partly because of that experience,” King told about 30 attendees the town hall at Western Iowa Tech Community College. King’s “accusers” were fellow members of the U.S. House of Representatives, who took action condemning King after the New York Times published an article quoting him saying, “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive?” House Republicans also stripped King of committee assignments after the article. The Kiron Republican has repeatedly said the New York Times misquoted him or mischaracterized his words.

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