Boners

Boner Fight for December 3rd, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: I’LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS TO FIGURE OUT WHO THE DICK WHO VOTED NO IS.

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Senate voted 96-1 Wednesday to speed up disability benefits for Americans who are diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis — commonly referred to as ALS. The bill’s sponsor, U.S. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, D-R.I., worked closely with U.S. Sen. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., to secure passage of the measure, which would waive the five-month waiting period that delays patients’ access to Social Security Disability Insurance. The legislation now heads to the other side of the Capitol. The House version of the bill, sponsored by U.S. Rep. Seth Moulton, D-Mass., already has more than 300 co-sponsors, including all four of Arkansas’ congressmen. Members of the ALS Association, Arkansas Chapter Inc. welcomed Wednesday’s vote. “Yes, we are thrilled about this news,” said Jennifer Necessary, the group’s executive director. ALS is incurable and is “100 percent fatal, usually within two to five years of diagnosis,” Necessary said in an email.

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Boner Candidate #2: ONCE AGAIN, YANKEE KNOW HOW TRIUMPHS.

(Reuters) – With the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping across its shores earlier this year, the U.S. government in April announced orders for almost $3 billion of ventilators for a national stockpile, meant to save Americans suffering from severe respiratory problems brought on by the disease. But of the 140,000 machines added since then by the government to the U.S. Strategic National Stockpile, almost half were basic breathing devices that don’t meet what medical specialists say are the minimum requirements for ventilators needed to treat Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, the main cause of death among COVID-19 patients, according to a Reuters review of publicly-available device specifications and interviews with doctors and industry executives. Only about 10% are full intensive care unit (ICU) ventilators of a type that doctors and ventilator specialists say they would normally use to intubate patients suffering from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome or ARDS, the Reuters review found. The remainder – or about 40% – are transport ventilators normally employed for shorter periods but are considered sophisticated enough to be used long enough for ARDS patients to recover.

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