Boner Candidate #1: AMMON IS ONE OF OURS
The two dozen demonstrators pressed against the emergency-room doors, screaming to be let in. “Show us the law!” they chanted. “Let Grandma out!” one shouted. They had descended on Legacy Salmon Creek Medical Center in Vancouver, Wash., the evening of Jan. 29 to protest the quarantine of Gayle Meyer, a 74-year-old patient who had refused to take a test for the coronavirus. Police in riot gear guarded entrances as the activists — who authorities said were armed — insisted that Meyer was being held against her will, a claim the hospital denied. Meyer’s 49-year-old daughter, Satin, an anti-mask activist licensed as her caregiver, had summoned the demonstrators, foot soldiers in a rapidly expanding network called People’s Rights. With the tap of a thumb on a smartphone, members can call a militia like they’d call an Uber and stage a protest within minutes.
Boner Candidate #2: I WAS DOING A CIVIL RIGHTS PROTEST
A Florida Man arrested yesterday for indecent exposure told police that he was “protesting for civil rights by showing his penis to traffic,” according to a criminal complaint. Cops charge that Riley James Cushman, 23, was spotted alongside a roadway in Palm Harbor, a Tampa suburb, with “his pants down to his knees holding his penis while facing traffic in a vulgar manner.” Upon spotting a sheriff’s deputy around 3:30 PM, Cushman pulled up his pants and began walking away.
