Boners

Boner Fight for February 3rd, 2021

Boner Candidate #1: NEVER MESS WITH A SWASTIKA ENTHUSIAST.

The unarmed woman who was shot in the back after tearing down a Nazi flag flying in front of the gunman’s Oklahoma home has sued her assailant for negligence, according to court records. In a January 28 District Court petition, Kyndal McVey, 26, accuses Alexander Feaster of acting with “reckless disregard” in connection with the shooting last year outside Feaster’s residence in the town of McVey was at a party across from Feaster’s home last June when she crossed the street around 2:55 AM and grabbed one of the two swastika flags flying outside the residence. As McVey fled with the flag, Feaster–carrying an AR-15 rifle–emerged from his home. Without warning, the 45-year-old Feaster fired at least seven shots at McVey, who was struck several times in the lower abdomen and legs, according to a probable cause affidavit. Police found McVey (seen at right) in a ditch across from Feaster’s property. McVey’s gunshot injuries required multiple surgeries and several weeks of hospitalization. Her lawsuit is seeking in excess of $75,000 in damages for “mental and physical pain and suffering,” medical expenses, lost time, and “change in physical and mental condition.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THE TOP NOTCH LEGAL TEAM.

Don’t they have spellcheck down at Mar-a-Lago? Ex-President Trump’s legal team embarrassingly misspelled the word “United” — you know, as in United States Senate — on the first page of their impeachment defense brief Tuesday. The newly minted Trump lawyers, who were rushed into service after a previous team quit en masse, addressed their brief to the “Unites States Senate.” Lawyers David Schoen and Bruce Castor have a decent excuse for the typo. They only had a day to throw the brief together after being hired by Trump on Sunday night. The previous legal team and Trump parted ways last weekend amid reported disputes over fees. After the rocky start, Schoen and Castor argued that the Senate should let Trump off the hook because he didn’t really incite the Jan. 6 Capitol riot. Even if he did, they noted that he’s no longer in office, which they claim renders the impeachment process unconstitutional. The brief came hours after House impeachment managers called Trump’s actions to egg on the violent crowd of his supporters a “betrayal of historic proportions.” The Democratic lawmakers brushed aside the idea that Trump should get a free pass because his misdeeds took place during his last days in office saying that would amount to a “January rule” that presidents can do whatever they choose at the end of their term.

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