Boners

Boner Fight for January 26th, 2021

Boner Candidate #1: PUT EVERY ONE OF THEM IN JAIL

SALT LAKE CITY — A legislative committee shut down briefly on Monday after a small group of anti-mask demonstrators showed up. It came on the same day two senators disclosed they had tested positive for COVID-19. Lawmakers said they were in the middle of the Social Services Appropriations Committee on Monday morning when three people, unmasked, walked into the room. “We’re going to go ahead and pause. We’ve just received direction from House and Senate leadership that we need to take a break on our committee,” Senate co-chair Jake Anderegg said. “We have members in the audience that are not complying with the health department rule for masks.” Committee leaders took a 10-minute recess and ordered the room cleared. Lawmakers on the committee were told to go to their offices and participate virtually. When FOX 13 arrived in the committee room, about 20 minutes after the initial incident, only Sen. Anderegg, R-Lehi, and House co-chair Paul Ray, R-Clearfield, remained with a handful of interns and staffers.

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Boner Candidate #2: SHOULDN’T WE GET THE VACCINE BEFORE THOSE SAVAGES?

Located deep in Canada’s Yukon, the remote community of Beaver Creek is home to only about 100 people, most of them members of the White River First Nation. So when an unfamiliar couple who claimed to work at a local motel showed up at a mobile clinic to receive coronavirus vaccines, it didn’t take long for locals to become suspicious. Authorities soon found that the couple were actually wealthy Vancouver residents who had chartered a private plane to the isolated outpost so that they could get shots intended to protect vulnerable Indigenous elders. “I can’t believe I’ve ever seen or heard of such a despicable, disgusting sense of entitlement and lack of a moral compass,” Mike Farnworth, the British Columbia solicitor general, said Monday, according to the Vancouver Sun. Canadian media outlets have identified the couple as casino executive Rodney Baker, 55, and his wife, Ekaterina Baker, a 32-year-old actress whose recent credits include the 2020 films “Fatman” and “Chick Fight.” Each faces fines totaling the equivalent of about $900 for violating quarantine guidelines. Neither could immediately be reached for comment late Monday, and it was not clear if they have attorneys.

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