Boners

Boner Fight for July 29th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: WHEN YOU GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO.

Amazon has issued an apology to a customer in the UK after a delivery driver was caught on video defecating in her garden. The footage shows a man wearing a bright yellow vest popping a squat behind a wooden fence on the Wiltshire property of Rebekah Eleanor Read, who posted the security tape on social media with the comment, “Amazon….what a pile of [poo emoji] it is literally what they deliver to you!!!” Apparently having finished his business, the man is shown pulling up his pants and tossing what appears to be toilet paper behind him, then hopping back over the fence and making his getaway. On Read’s Facebook post, which had over 3,000 shares before it was removed, she wrote, “Yes it sounds funny but it really isn’t…he felt the need to hop over our fence and do a poo in our garden and bag up the tissue and throw in the hedge then hops back over the fence and walks off!!” A spokesperson for Amazon says the driver works for a third-party delivery service outsourced by the online shopping giant. “We have very high standards for our delivery service providers and how they serve customers,” says Amazon. “We are taking this matter seriously and have reached out to the customer to apologize for the experience and offer our support.”     Read More

Boner Candidate #2: SHE COULD HAVE BEEN A TERRORIST.

A 9-year-old American citizen on her way to school was apprehended by U.S. immigration officials and detained for some 32 hours before she was released back to her family. Federal officials said later that the girl, who was carrying a U.S. passport card with her, gave “inconsistent information.” “I was scared. I didn’t have my mom or my brother. I was completely by myself,” Julia Isabel Amparo Medina told NBC-7 TV in San Diego. Medina, her 14-year-old brother and two friends were being driven to school by the friends’ mom from their home in Tijuana to San Ysidro last Monday. Thousands of people travel through the Tijuana-San Ysidro crossing daily for school or work. When traffic slowed to a crawl, the mom told the children to walk across the border so they wouldn’t be late. An official detained Medina, saying she didn’t look like the photo on her passport card. They finally released her Tuesday evening about 32 hours later. U.S. Customs and Border Protection said in a statement that the girl, whom they confirmed is an American citizen, “provided inconsistent information during her inspection,” which they didn’t elaborate. She was taken into custody so officers could “perform due diligence in confirming her identity and citizenship,” according to the statement. Officials had no explanation for why the process took 32 hours or why the 9-year-old was in custody the entire time.     Read More
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