Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for May 13th, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: PIKA PIKA, KIDDIES. (EVIL LAUGH)

A theater expecting to see Detective Pikachu were sadly mistaken (and terrified) when The Curse of La Llorona played instead. Not only that, but the trailers playing ahead of the movie were all terrifying too, which ended up scaring some children and making them cry. This happens quite frequently in movie theaters, but we only hear about it when a theater really messes up like this, traumatizing children and their families. The theater in question is located in Montreal, Quebec and things reportedly started off normal until the lights went down and a trailer for Annabelle Comes Home popped up on the screen. A supernatural thriller could play before Detective Pikachu, but it probably shouldn’t. Next up was the trailer for Todd Phillips’ Joker, which could also possibly play in front of an all ages audience, though it is pretty dark and twisted. It’s at this time that some parents may have started to question what was happening in the theater. Finally, the Child’s Play remake trailer came on, which is when the kids in the theater really started to lose it. A little creepy murderous doll on the loose is what it took to bring the tears amongst the children in the audience, who were there to see the adorable little Detective Pikachu with Ryan Reynolds offering up some sanitized jokes. However, that was nothing compared to when Curse of La Llorona started playing. The horror movie begins with a woman drowning her daughter. At this point, the movie theater finally figured out what was going on and stopped the movie to have the moviegoers switched to another theater.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHAT YA GOT IN THE BACKPACK?

A Florida woman was arrested last week on felony neglect charges after police said her five children were living in filthy conditions, including a girl whose backpack allegedly had bugs crawl out of it at school. Jessica Nicole Stevenson, 33, of Milton in Florida’s Panhandle, was arrested May 3, two weeks after an elementary school worker alleged that Stevenson’s second-grade daughter had worn the same clothes to school for a week, court documents filed by the Santa Rosa County Sheriff’s Office read. The school worker made the allegation April 18 to a sheriff’s deputy, who investigated. The worker alleged, according to the deputy’s investigation report:
• The girl, when asked, didn’t know the last time she’d taken a shower or a bath.
• The worker gave the girl clean clothes, and dirt “was caked into” the old clothing.
• One of the garments “had caked fecal matter and urine soaked into” it.
• Previously, “hundreds of bugs crawled out of (the girl’s) backpack in the lunchroom,” and the worker was told that the children’s house “is currently infested with roaches.”
• The school had given the girl numerous new sets of clothes, “but eventually wears them over and over again.”

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