Boners

Boner Fight for May 20th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: PUBLIC BACKLASH IS CORRECT AND WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU

KAYSVILLE, Utah — The controversy continues over a live concert planned in Kaysville. Organizers said everyone was on board when they started making plans for the event, scheduled for May 30 in Barnes Park, but the Kaysville City Council members said they were not involved in the process. Eric Moutsos, the Utah Business Revival organizer, said the events he’s held have been successful so far. “We had over 3,000 people at our first event in Salt Lake City — no spikes in COVID,” said Moutsos. Small businesses, said Moutsos, have also benefited from the concerts, “Some of them were in tears, literally crying, because our revival helped them pay their bills that month,” said Moutsos. For Kaysville, Moutsos said he has 65 businesses lined up to be there, in hopes to help revive Utah’s economy. Yet, for Tamara Tran on the Kaysville City Council, she questions where those business are coming from. “How many businesses are from Kaysville? How many local businesses are we able to support, potentially, through an event like this,” said Tran.

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Boner Candidate #2: CHICKEN THROWER

St. Petersburg, FL — During an argument in their Florida home, a man threw a piece of raw chicken at his wife, striking her in the head, according to police who arrested the alleged poultry pelter for battery. Cops charge that Thomas Reece, 34, and the victim got into a “verbal argument over a family issue” Friday evening at their St. Petersburg residence. As detailed in an arrest affidavit, Reece “got mad, took a piece of raw chicken, and threw it at” his 34-year-old spouse. The chicken struck the woman in the back of the head. Reece’s wife subsequently gathered up his clothes in a laundry basket and placed them by the front door, “telling him he had to leave.” Reece then tossed the basket across the room, striking his wife with the container, cops allege. Reece reportedly “admitted to these actions,” according to affidavit, which identifies the accused as an employee of Lowe’s.

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