Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for May 22nd, 2019

Boner Candidate #1: I’M NOT GONG TO MARRY YOUR CROTCH GOBLIN

A bride-to-be has been branded a “terrible human being” in a viral Facebook post after asking if it is ok to ban her groom’s daughter, three, from attending their wedding. The unknown woman prompted outrage online after claiming she wanted to stop the little girl from attending the ceremony because she was marrying her partner, “not his crotch goblin”. In the post, which was shared in a Facebook wedding group on Monday, she detailed the reasons she didn’t want the toddler to attend after asking people in a wedding group for advice. She wrote: “I put ‘no kids’ on the invites so I thought he’d get the point, but he keeps mentioning her being there “I am marrying him, not his crotch goblin. That’s his mistake, not mine. I don’t’ want her there because she’s needy as f*** and makes everything about her AND I said no f***ing kids!” The woman’s post was met with a barrage of criticism, with the post attracting more than 1,000 comments. One person commented: “I’m pretty child-free and I think this is absolutely abhorrent. “If you don’t want to be in a partner’s kid’s life, don’t be with that person at all! When I was single I had a strict no dating parents policy for this reason.” Another shocked reader of the post wrote: “She’s three, of course she makes everything about her…that’s all she knows.

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Boner Candidate #2: EMMA MUST DIE

Over the protests of shelter workers, a healthy dog was euthanized so she could be buried with her dead owner in accordance with the Virginia woman’s will, according to WWBT. The Shih Tzu named Emma was temporarily placed at the Chesterfield Animal Shelter, where staff members tried for two weeks to talk the executor of the will out of putting the dog down. Carrie Jones, a manager at Chesterfield Animal Services, told WWBT that Emma would have been easy to place in a new home, but the person carrying out her late owner’s last wishes came back for the dog on March 22. Emma was euthanized at an area veterinarian’s office and then cremated. The local news station reports that Emma’s ashes were given to the representative of the estate. Virginia law sees dogs as personal property and, while it isn’t illegal to euthanize a healthy pet, ethical considerations may prevent vets from performing the procedure. Current law defines a cemetery as “any land or structure used or intended to be used for the interment of human remains,” but WWBT reports that family-owned and private cemeteries are treated as exceptions.

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