Boners

Boner Fight for September 30, 2020

BONER FIGHT

Boner Candidate #1: GEEZE WHAT DID THE GOOSE EVER DO TO HIM

SEATTLE (KOMO) — Several people looked on in horror at Green Lake Monday evening when a man beat a Canada Goose to death and beheaded it before walking off with it. “My friend and I were walking on Green Lake and there was a big group of geese off to our right,” witness Rebecca Wang told KOMO News.  A short time later there was a big commotion as she spotted a man with a cane hitting the geese. He managed to hit at least three of them as they flew away, “but then he managed to hit one goose by itself by a tree,” Wang said. “He grabbed it and pulled its head off and stuffed it in its backpack!” Multiple people were calling the police as at least two witnesses, including Wang, recorded the incident. Another witness told KOMO News their child saw the entire event. “And then [the man] just walked off,” Wang said. “He didn’t really seem like he was in his right mind. It was something I can’t unsee, unfortunately.” But despite multiple witnesses calling 911, Wang said police never arrived. She and her friend waited 15 minutes but no one showed up. She called an hour later to follow up and even sent them her video, but she was told no officer went to the scene.

Boner Candidate #2: IT’LL EVENTUALLY ERODE, RIGHT?

MONROE COUNTY, Fla. – A Homestead man was arrested Wednesday, Sept. 23, for dumping concrete in a posted wildlife area. Pedro Vasquez, 26, was charged with felony littering, according to a news release from the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. A deputy with MCSO responded to the scene at the 3000 block of Grouper Drive in Marathon after reports of someone illegally dumping construction materials. The deputy found three piles of concrete in a grassy area near mangroves, which are protected in Florida. State and local regulations have been enacted to protect Florida’s mangrove forests. The deputy then walked up to a nearby construction crew and asked who is responsible. Vasquez eventually came forward and admitted to dumping about 350 pounds of concrete.

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