Boners

Boner Fight for September 9th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: Covidoake

Brooklyn, NY — A karaoke bar in Brooklyn was shut down over the weekend after violating … well, pretty much every law on the books. The New York Sheriff’s office has confirmed that The Legend KTV, located in Borough Park, was ignoring the city’s coronavirus safety guidelines and illegally hosting 281 people, including one minor, on Sunday. The bar was also serving liquor without a valid liquor license, which had been revoked in 2019. In addition, The Legend KTV was found to be in violation of a vacate order issued in 2018, and the establishment itself had only one exit in the event of an emergency. It was unclear whether the vacate order was originally issued as a result of the latter violation. The New York Sheriff’s Department arrested six people “for  offenses including child endangerment.” In photos from the raid, police are also seen removing large quantities of beer from the bar. A nearby resident called the news “a travesty” amid the city’s efforts to quell the spread of COVID-19. “It’s a danger to the residents around here,” he told local news outlet NY1.

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Boner Candidate #2: Try it before you buy it, Senior Vibrato!

Fort Pierce, FL — An alleged naked woman accused of swiping a sex toy and using it in a store got locked up, according to an affidavit. Fort Pierce police Aug. 31 went to an undisclosed address for a disturbance. Emergency dispatchers reported a woman sporting a purple shirt but no pants was in a store. An employee said the woman removed a sex toy from the packaging and was fully nude, the affidavit states. The alleged naked lady is not to be confused with the Barenaked Ladies, a Canadian band perhaps best known for the 1998 song “One Week.” Meanwhile, a worker said the woman went in an employee area or stock room with the toy. In the stock room, police encountered a 36-year-old Port Salerno woman in an office chair with the sex toy. After the officer went in the room, the woman dropped the personal accessory. Police learned the woman tried on a piece of clothing, but the make, model, type, brand, cut or color wasn’t specified. It’s also unclear whether this was the purple shirt.

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