Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for April 10th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: LISTEN. THIS VIRUS HASN’T KILLED ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 25. AH, FLORIDA.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis falsely claimed Thursday that the novel coronavirus hasn’t killed anyone under 25 nationwide while discussing a timeline for reopening schools in the state. “This particular pandemic is one where, I don’t think nationwide there’s been a single fatality under 25. For whatever reason it just doesn’t seem to threaten, you know, kids,” DeSantis said at an educators’ meeting to discuss distance learning. “And we lose in Florida between five and 10 kids a year for the flu. This one, for whatever reason, much more dangerous if you’re 65 and plus than the flu, no doubt about that, if you’re younger it just hasn’t had an impact. So that should factor into how we’re viewing this.” “I think the data on that has been 100% consistent,” he continued. “I’ve not seen any deviation on that.” In reality, the CDC reports on its website that four people between the ages of 15 and 24 and one person between the ages of one and four have died. CNN has also reported on the death of a newborn in Connecticut on April 1 and an infant in Illinois last month whose death is being investigated as possibly caused by the virus.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: THEY WEREN’T FOR ME, THEY WERE FOR OUR VETERANS.

A Reno man was arrested Tuesday for allegedly stealing about 200 surgical masks from Reno’s Ioannis A. Lougaris VA Medical Center, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said Wednesday. Peter Lucas, 35, made his initial appears in U.S. District court on Wednesday. He is charged with one count of theft of health care property. “Our military veterans served on the front lines to protect our country, and now our health professionals are doing the same in our fight against COVID-19,” U.S. Attorney Nicholas A. Trutanich said in a statement. “We will not allow the theft of personal protective equipment to go undeterred, endangering the safety of doctors, nurses, and other health professionals protecting our communities.” Surveillance cameras at the VA Medical Center showed between March 19 and March 23 , Lucas stole at least four boxes of surgical masks from supply carts in his care, then concealed the boxes under his jacket before leaving the hospital, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said. Each box has 50 masks.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS.

An evangelical pastor who is refusing to abide by Louisiana’s ban on large public gatherings and continuing to hold in-person church services suggested his parishioners would not mind dying for their faith.  Rev. Tony Spell, pastor of Life Tabernacle Church in the city of Central, is facing six misdemeanor charges after defying Gov. John Bel Edwards’ orders aimed at curbing the spread of the coronavirus. Each count carries a maximum penalty of six months in jail and a $500 fine.  Palm Sunday services at Spell’s church, held last weekend, are reported to have drawn hundreds of parishioners. Local police said many arrived in a fleet of 26 buses that the church, which is located near Baton Rouge, sent to pick them up. In a TMZ interview on Wednesday, Spell shrugged off critics who say he is putting his congregants at risk of contracting COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus.  “The Bible teaches us to be absent from our bodies as to be present with the Lord,” said Spell, a Pentecostal preacher. “Like any zealot or like any pure religious person, death looks to them like a welcome friend. True Christians do not mind dying. They fear living in fear.”

Read More

 

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: HE OVER-WIPES.

It’s come to this … cops stepped into a house divided, where a mother and son fought over toilet paper — specifically, due to hiding and over-wiping. L.A. County Sheriff’s deputies busted 26-year-old Adrian Yan around 3 AM — always a bad sign — for punching his mother. Why? He claims he discovered his mom was hoarding TP. Yan’s mom told cops, her own flesh and blood decked her over the clandestine stockpile — we’re guessing he was pretty desperate for a square or 5. Yan was arrested for battery. Interestingly, cops say his mother didn’t even deny stashing the TP, and say she told them her kid uses too much. In short, he’s allegedly a classic over-wiper. Mom refused medical treatment at the scene, so the punch couldn’t have been too bad — but it’s still a cautionary tale as we’re all supposed to be “safer” at home. Talk out your TP issues — don’t flush your family ties in these uncertain times.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: TEST MY METH.

Worried that her methamphetamine was contaminated, an Iowa woman drove to police headquarters and asked cops to check her stash for the coronavirus, according to court records. Shawn Salmen, 53, arrived at the Sioux City Police Department Sunday afternoon and reportedly admitted to officers that she recently used meth. Which appeared obvious since the paranoid Salmen was sweating profusely and acting erratically, cops say. While speaking with police, Salmen “was requesting officers to check her narcotics for the COVID-19 Virus,” a criminal complaint states. During a subsequent pat down of Salmen and a search of her truck, cops recovered 14.4 grams of meth, marijuana, and “a large amount of drug paraphernalia.” Salmen, who lives in Sioux City, was arrested on a pair of felony narcotics charges and a misdemeanor pot possession count. She was released Tuesday from the Woodbury County jail after posting $25,000 bond. According to her Facebook page, Salmen (seen above) works as a psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner for two medical centers. In a March 28 post, Salmen implored her Facebook followers to “WAKE THE FUCK UP” and take social distancing seriously.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: WHEN WILL THIS ASSHAT GO AWAY?

Jones’ “Superblue Silver Immune Gargle,” “SuperSilver Whitening Toothpaste,” “SuperSilver Wound Dressing Gel” and “Superblue Fluoride Free Toothpaste” are all marketed as cures to the current pandemic, but the FDA, in a letter to Jones on Thursday, said that these products are “unapproved new drugs.” The federal agency also lists a variety of federal laws that Jones has violated by selling the products on his website, requesting that the known conspiracy theorist “take immediate action to cease the sale” of these products. The letter also cited several videos that the FDA also want taken down, in which Jones promotes his products and spouts false information about how they can help combat COVID-19.

Read More


Subscribe to X96's News!

Get the latest music news, contests and flyaways, and more straight to your inbox with our weekly emails.

* indicates required
Comments
To Top