ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: OLD LADY COPYCAT DRUNKARD
Social distancing can be tough on families, especially because you should only be interacting with members of your immediate household. That can be especially hard on seniors, who, as a more vulnerable population, are also encouraged to stay home as much as possible. But even in tough situations, people have luckily been able to find some levity. For example, Kelly Muller shared a hilarious photo on Facebook of her mom Annette holding up a sign in her window that read, “Need more wine.” “Went to my 82 year old Mothers House today to check on her and to see if she needed anything. She was anxiously waiting for me at the Window ♀️ #MamaMuller #SeniorProblems #SocialDistancing,” Kelly wrote in the caption. The post quickly went viral, with plenty of people relating in the comments. “Necessities,” one person wrote. “That’s the truth!!” another said. “I need one of these signs,” someone else said. Kelly told TODAYthat Annette has always been “the life of the party” and has stayed upbeat, even after losing her husband to prostate cancer and one of her daughters to ovarian cancer. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: I GOT THE VIRUS BAD, BUT I SHOULD BE OKAY TOMORROW.
Federal authorities urged private companies this week to be on the lookout for employees using falsified doctors notes and other medical documents claiming they tested positive for coronavirus, an old and childish trick that could cost thousands of dollars to already-struggling businesses. In one recent incident, a worker at an unidentified “critical manufacturing company” submitted a letter that appeared to come from a medical facility and showed a positive COVID-19 test result, the FBI’s Office of Private Sector said in a report obtained by CNN. In response, the company shutdown a manufacturing site to disinfect the facility and halted production and delivery of “necessary materials” to the plant, the agency reportedly wrote in the memo. Company officials also notified all workers at the facility, including four people who had to be quarantined because they had close contact with the “infected” employee. The sudden and temporary business halt cost the company about $175,000 in lost productivity, according to the FBI, but that medical document turned out to be fake. A closer look into the letter revealed the document had no official letterhead from a medical facility and the phone number that was listed in it was not associated with any legitimate COVID-19 test providers, CNN reported. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: AUSTRALIA POLICE STATE.
VICTORIA, Australia – An Australian couple was hit with a $2,100 fine for violating coronavirus lockdown after posting old vacation pictures on Facebook, the UK Independent reported. Jaz and Garry Mott are locked down like everyone else in the Aussie state of Victoria, according to the Independent. On April 5, they posted 12 vacation photos from 2019 and tagged themselves at the coastal town of Lakes Entrance, about two hours from their home. So four days later, a cop showed up at their door and handed them each an AU$1652 fine (about $1060 each in U.S. dollars) claiming they were guilty of “non-essential travel,” they told the Independent. Evidently, the police thought the photos were taken the same day they were posted. The Motts initially called the police station to explain, the Independent reported. But the cops were not having it and told them to pay up. So they went to local press, which reported the story. That got the cops to back down, and the fine has since been rescinded, according to the Independent. However, Jaz Mott said the cops threatened her with punishment for posting any more photos, no matter when they’re from.
“The Sergeant told me if I posted any more photos I will be arrested,” Mott told the Independent. Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS NOT COVID-1 FOLKS.
Kellyanne Conway, a senior counselor to President Donald Trump, made an appearance on Fox & Friends on Wednesday where she made some concerning, double-take worthy comments about COVID-19. The interview — and awe-inspiring comments — came after President Trump’s controversial decision to pull funding for the World Health Organization (WHO). On Wednesday, Trump announced that the United States would halt millions in funds to the World Health Organization while a review was conducted of WHO’s “role in severely mismanaging and covering up the spread of the coronavirus.” As a result, critics are levying even harsher feedback against Trump, citing his failure to respond to the looming threat of the coronavirus back in January and February. His previous attempt to blame the responsibility on the impeachment proceedings was unsuccessful, but nevertheless, he persisted — to place the blame on someone else, that is. And it seems that WHO is Trump’s latest target, which his team now needs to defend at all costs. Enter Kellyanne Conway. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CHECK THE MAIL
Taneytown, MD — A Maryland police department shared a cryptic warning to a local resident who apparently has a habit of checking their mail without pants during the coronavirus lockdown. The Taneytown Police Department posted a reminder to its Facebook page that appears to be specifically aimed at an unnamed resident. The post serves as a reminder that despite the COVID-19 pandemic, some dress code rules remain in effect. “Please remember to put pants on before leaving the house to check your mailbox. You know who you are. This is your final warning,” the post states. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: HEY PROTESTERS…AT LEAST SOME SCOCIAL DISTANCING
ST. GEORGE — About 100 Utahns gathered on Wednesday evening outside of Washington County city offices to protest Gov. Gary Herbert’s health directives as unconstitutional. A video posted to the Facebook account of Mary Burkett, who is running for Utah’s 2nd Congressional District seat, shows dozens of individuals gathered together holding signs in protest of what they called governmental overreach. “We’ve got a really good group of people coming,” Burkett says in the video. “It’s pretty exciting. We’ve got some more folks coming.” According to James Wilkins, reporter for The Spectrum, hundreds of people attended the event. Burkett told KSL.com in an email about 100 people attended and “numerous cars came by honking horns.” Various signs can be seen in the video, reading “Resist like it’s 1776” and “America will never be a socialist country.” Read More
LANSING — Gov. Gretchen Whitmer said Wednesday she respects the right to protest but believes many of the thousands of people who gathered at the Capitol Wednesday put themselves and others at risk of contracting COVID-19. Whitmer gave an update on Michigan’s efforts to combat the coronavirus pandemic from the Romney Building, across the street from the Capitol. As she spoke, the protest that saw thousands of vehicles block streets and hundreds of people gather around the Capitol lawn was winding down, just outside. “I was really disappointed to see people congregating and not wearing masks,” Whitmer said. She said she saw one person “handing out candy with bare hands.” Whitmer said she was also disappointed with reports of at least one ambulance being delayed amid other traffic disruptions. Also, “they were in close proximity, they were touching each other.” “We know that this demonstration is going to come at a cost to people’s health,” Whitmer said. “When people gather that way without masks … that’s how COVID-19 spreads. “The sad irony here is that … they don’t like being in this stay-at-home order and they may have just created the need to lengthen it, which is something we’re trying to avoid at all costs.” Read More
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