Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for August 9th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: KNICKERS IN A HOTEL KETTLE.

A couple of years ago, a disturbing urban legend started to circulate , concerning the kettles you find in hotel rooms . Specifically, that people used them to wash dirty items of clothing – underwear, in particular. A medical professional even weighed in, issuing a caution about the cleanliness of kettles and the bacteria which dirty underwear introduces, calling it an ” unbelievably irresponsible ” thing to do. But not everyone got the memo, because one woman has broadcast her use of a hotel room kettle after her period caught her by surprise. As you’d expect, people were absolutely horrified. Not only at the act  itself, but also at the fact that she decided to proudly share it. Also, one woman made a very valid point, writing: “Apart from the fact that this is thoroughly revolting, surely everyone knows you use cold water to rinse out blood?” That is entry-level laundry washing, people. Everyone should know that. Other questions were raised, such as, if you’d forgotten to pack knickers, surely buying a new pair would be a lot easier?     Read More

Boner Candidate #2: GETTING READY FOR THE JESUS.

A man in Vero Beach who thought he was 140 miles away in Tampa told a deputy he smoked THC “to get himself ready because Jesus was returning,” an arrest affidavit states. In the end, Carlos Guillen, 23, of Port St. Lucie, was jailed on a DUI charge after Indian River County sheriff’s deputies were called July 27 to the Vero Beach Outlets west of Interstate 95 off State Road 60. Investigators reported a man later identified as Guillen was in the driver’s seat of a parked vehicle, the interior of which smelled of booze. A half bottle of Hennessy cognac was in the passenger seat and a cup that looked to contain the alcoholic beverage was in a cup holder. Asked for his driver’s license, Guillen handed over a vape pen that he said contained THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. Deputies said Guillen smelled of alcohol. He also said he was in Tampa, the county seat of Hillsborough County on Florida’s west coast. He also said he smoked liquid THC in the vape pen “to get himself ready because Jesus was returning,” the affidavit states. Guillen was arrested on a DUI charge and taken to jail where breath tests measured his blood alcohol content at 0.211 and 0.219, more than double the legal limit of 0.08.     Read More

Boner Candidate #3: DO TOTE BAGS MAKE YOU GAY?

Environmentalism not only saves the planet, it upsets fragile men. Heterosexual men are avoiding saving the planet because strangers might think they’re gay, a new study has suggested. Researchers at Penn State University in America discovered that everyday steps to help the environment such as using reusable carrier bags were often ‘gendered’, driving men away. In the study of 930 people, psychologists found that using a reusable carrier bag or drying laundry on a line instead of using a tumble dryer were seen as traditionally female. Men would then dodge reducing their carbon footprint in case it threatened their masculinity and sexuality. This caused the men in the study to avoid being environmentally friendly just in case strangers thought they were gay, which they viewed as a bad thing. The researchers also found that men and women were more likely to question a man’s sexual orientation if he was seen performing these ‘feminine’ actions.     Read More

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: CHERNOBYL VODKA.

An artisan vodka has been produced with ingredients from the Chernobyl exclusion zone — and scientists insist it is safe to drink. Scientists from the University of Portsmouth created “Atomik” vodka, a spirit made with exclusion zone grain and water, making it the first consumer product to come from the area around the abandoned nuclear power plant.  Chernobyl is the site of the world’s worst nuclear disaster, which resulted in thousands of deaths. The 1986 reactor explosion at the Chernobyl nuclear plant forced a region-wide evacuation and sending radioactive fallout billowing across Europe. While the explosion itself killed around 31 people, millions were exposed to dangerous radiation levels, and estimates of the final death toll from long-term health problems range up to 200,000. For more than two decades, authorities have maintained the 19-mile radius exclusion zone around the reactor, including the city of Pripyat, once home to 50,000 people. A team of scientists from the University of Portsmouth and Ukraine brewed the vodka as part of a three-year research project into the transfer of radioactivity to crops grown in the Chernobyl exclusion zone. Jim Smith, who led the project and who has conducted research on Chernobyl for decades, worked with a team to find out if it was safe to use some of the abandoned land to grow crops.     Read More

Boner Candidate #2: WHERE’D THAT SNAKE GO?

A venomous snake has slithered out of sight at the Bronx Zoo. The zoo said it was notifying guests entering the popular attraction JungleWorld that the 3 and a half-foot-long reptile was missing from its exhibit. Zoo workers realized while closing up Tuesday that the Mangrove snake, native to Southeast Asia, was missing. They believe the snake slipped through some mesh that covers a vent and remains inside the JungleWorld exhibit. The zoo said it is confident there is no threat to visitors. “Mangrove snakes, though mildly venomous, are not known to be dangerous to people. They are shy, timid, secretive in nature and active at night,” the zoo said in a statement. Its bite is not lethal but can cause swelling. But signs have been posted at the entrance of the building out of an abundance of caution. Visitors to the zoo said they were cautious but not scared enough to stay away from JungleWorld on Thursday.     Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THE PETER PAN BUS COMPANY IS MEAN.

A bus driver was arrested Sunday after state police said she locked a passenger in the luggage compartment on a moving bus headed to Boston from New York City, according to a report. Connecticut State Police said they received a 911 call from a woman who claimed she had been locked in the luggage compartment by a Peter Pan bus driver and was trapped while en route to Boston, WFSB reported Monday. Police later arrested Wendy Alberty, 49, from East Lyme, Conn., and charged her with unlawful restraint, reckless endangerment and breach of peace, according to WFSB. Alberty is a bus driver but at the time was a passenger and not driving the bus. Authorities had traced the 911 call and responded to the bus on Interstate 84 near Willington, Conn., located about 25 miles northeast of Hartford, where they stopped the bus and let the passenger out of the luggage compartment, according to WFSB. The passenger refused medical care and was not injured, police said, adding that the female passenger said “she had been purportedly locked inside by a female driver while attempting to retrieve items from her bag,” WFSB reported. Alberty is being held on $2,000 bail and is due in court Aug. 21, WFSB said.     Read More

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