Boners

Boner of the Day for December 10th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: FERRET CHUCKER

A man in England was arrested Monday for allegedly damaging several vehicles by throwing a box — and two ferrets — at them, police said.
The unidentified 25-year-old was apparently caught in the act before 7:30 pm, as he was detained by members of the public during the incident in Harrogate. When police arrived on the scene, they discovered “at least a dozen vehicles were damaged, including smashed windows, dents, and scratches,” North Yorkshire Police said in a news release Tuesday. The vehicles were hit with a box of some sort that were said to hold a pair of ferrets. Those two ferrets were also thrown at a car, according to authorities. Local investigators are asking the public for help gathering information about the incident. “This would have been a very disturbing and alarming incident to those who witnessed it, and we are keen to speak to anyone who has information that could assist the investigation,” a North Yorkshire spokesperson said in a statement. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: THIS CHRISTMAS I WANT THE BUTTHEADS 3000

This holiday season’s shaping up to be a real stinker. Toy insiders and wincing parents tell The Post that the Buttheads Fart Launcher 3000 — a Nerf gun-like gadget that shoots farts instead of darts — is topping off kids’ wish lists this year. “This is my worst nightmare,” mom Angie Wong, the 42-year-old founder of the private Facebook group Brooklyn Moms, tells The Post. She recently caved and got the gas-blasting gizmo for her 5-year-old son, Will, and 7-year-old daughter, Maddie. “I can see that thing [being] used on my face one unsuspecting morning.” According to its product description, the flatulent firearm, developed by WowWee, can spread stench up to 10 feet across a room and is “best used in well-ventilated areas or outdoors.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: YOU’RE A MEAN ONE MR. SHURBUTT

Phoenix Police Department shares footage of a man attempting to steal a woman’s wheelchair while riding the light rail. A man in Arizona was arrested after attempting to take a woman’s wheelchair while she was riding the city’s light rail last month before heroic passengers on board came to her rescue. The Phoenix Police Department said the incident happened on Friday, Nov. 29, around 3:40 p.m. at the light rail stop on 12th and Jefferson Streets. “Despite his reindeer slippers, this criminal was NOT spreading holiday cheer,” police said. Officials said as the train pulled into the station, 26-year-old Austin Shurbutt grabbed the woman’s chair as she tried to hold on before being eventually dumped onto the floor. Surveillance footage from the train showed the moment that Shurbutt forces the woman out of her chair and onto the floor. Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: LET IT SNOW

A festive sweater sold on Walmart Canada’s website is bringing new meaning to the phrase “Let it snow” — and now the retailer is apologizing. As Global News Canada reports, the controversial sweater sold on Walmart.ca depicted a bug-eyed Santa celebrating next to what appear to be lines of cocaine, with “Let It Snow” — a reference to the drug’s street name — written below. “We all know how snow works. It’s white, powdery and the best snow comes straight from South America,” read the online product description. “That’s bad news for jolly old St. Nick, who lives far away in the North Pole. That’s why Santa really needs to savor the moment when he gets his hands on some quality, grade A Colombia snow. He packs it in perfect lines on his coffee table and then takes a big whiff to smell the high-quality aroma of the snow. It’s exactly what he needs to get inspired for Christmas Eve.” The copy also touts the sweater as “warm and cozy, so you can wear it anytime the snow starts blowing this holiday season.” The risqué sweater understandably raised some eyebrows, prompting Walmart to issue an apology and pull it from the site. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: THE RUNNING BUTT SLAPPER

The pervy jogger who slapped a TV reporter’s behind during a 10K in Georgia has been identified by officials — and banned from future races.
Race organizers had immediately vowed to find the handsy creep who left WSAV-TV anchor Alex Bozarjian feeling “violated, objectified, and embarrassed” while she reported on Saturday’s Savannah Bridge Run. “Yesterday afternoon we identified him and shared his information with the reporter and her station,” the Savannah Sports Council tweeted, without revealing his name publicly. “We will not tolerate behavior like this at a Savannah Sports Council event,” the council said in another post. “We have made the decision to ban this individual from registering for all Savannah Sports Council owned races.” In a video viewed more than 10 million times, Bozarjian was seen recoiling in shock as a runner in a hat and sunglasses smacked her as he ran past. “To the man who smacked my butt on live TV this morning: You violated, objectified, and embarrassed me,” Bozarjian tweeted later on Saturday, alongside footage of the on-air assault. “No woman should EVER have to put up with this at work or anywhere!! Do better.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: TAKE ‘EM OFF OR NO DAD.

An eight-year-old girl was stripped naked and searched by Virginia prison staff last month during a visit to see her dad. The youngster was accompanied by her father’s girlfriend who took her on the visit to see her father, an inmate at the Buckingham Correctional Center in Dillwyn, Virginia.  These thorough searches of minors are approved by state policy but the general consensus among criminal justice officials is to avoid searching children. ‘It’s generally regarded in the criminal justice field that you do not strip-search young children,’ said Daniel Macallair, the head of the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice. ‘I mean most adults, certainly most adults who work in the field of child welfare, would know better — that this is an act of child abuse.’ Read More


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