ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: YOU MIND IF I PLAY THROUGH?
A Florida woman from Vero Beach was arrested with DUI charges after driving her car through a golf course while being chased by police.
Boner Candidate #2: MY MOM MADE ME SUCKER PUNCH THAT GIRL.
The ex of an NBA star was filmed encouraging her 14 year old daughter to punch her rival in basketball. The punch left the 15 year old rival with a concussion after she had fallen ‘to the floor like a rag doll.’
Boner Candidate #3: COME ON BABY LIGHT ME ON FIRE.
A Florida woman took gaslighting to another level by dousing her boyfriend in gasoline, threatening to burn him, and the house to the ground.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THIS MAN IS JUST ICKY AND I, FOR ONE, HAVE HAD ENOUGH
Machine Gun Kelly posted a video on his Instagram that depicted three leeches sucking blood from his chest. The video featured a caption that read: “These friends suck.”
Boner Candidate #2: THEY WERE ASKED TO LEAVE THE RESTAURANT.
A Florida woman and her friend were kicked out of a restaurant when they broke a sink in the bathroom after ‘getting intimate’ with one another.
Boner Candidate #3: THERE COMES A POINT IN CERTAIN STORIES WHEN I SAY, ‘NOPE. NOT READING ANY FURTHER’.
If for whatever reason you want to ruin your day, then feel free to hear from 4 guys who spoke about their armpit fetish in an interview with Men’s Health.
