Boners

Boner of the Day for December 12th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: HE’S RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING…GRETA IS DANGEROUS

Jeremy Clarkson is at it again – he’s publicly hit out at 16-year-old Greta Thunberg, calling her ‘mad’ and ‘dangerous’ before adding that she ‘needs to go back to school and shut up’. The 59-year-old presenter’s latest rant occurred on TV during an interview on Australia’s breakfast show Sunrise, where he took the opportunity to attack the teenage eco-warrior from Sweden. During the interview, he said: “She’s mad and she’s dangerous and she’s causing young children sleepless nights with her idiocy.” He went on to add: “I think she needs to go back to school and shut up.” The broadcaster has been an outspoken critic of global warming but recently had a change of heart while he was filming in southeast Asia. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: A PERFECTLY LOGICAL SOLUTION FOR TRANSPORTING GASOLINE

A woman was caught on camera pumping gas into a plastic bag before putting it into the trunk of her car. The bizarre video was recorded by another customer at a Kroger gas station in Houston, Texas. In the footage, the woman, who appears to be wearing a black apron, can be seen standing next to a petrol pump. She is holding a large, white plastic bag with both hands which she has almost filled to bursting. She soon returns the nozzle to its stand before turning away from the pump. But then gas begins to spurt out of a split in the bottom of the carrier bag and splashes out on to the forecourt. The woman sees that the bag has sprung a leak and decides to set it down on to the ground before hastily tying the two handles together. She momentarily leaves it sat on the concrete while she walks over to the open trunk of her car where she pulls out yet another plastic carrier. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: VALUABLE LESSONS WERE LEARNED

According to police, a Las Cruces, New Mexico Subway sandwich shop employee says she allegedly robbed the store she worked at in order to teach a lesson to another employee. That justification was reportedly given by 22-year-old Lorena Ariana Marin, who was charged with one count of robbery on Monday night. Also charged with the same crime was her alleged accomplice, 19-year-old Angelo Rey Espinosa. Police claim the two entered the restaurant at roughly 7 p.m. on Monday evening. Espinosa is said to have stood by the counter as Marin hopped over it and aired verbal and physical threats towards employees. The plan went awry as one such employee escaped to her car while the rest were ushered to the back of the restaurant. At that point both prospective robbers took off on foot. Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THE AXE EFFECT

PARRISH, Fla. — It wasn’t the “Axe effect” the body spray company intended when a Florida middle school student’s pungent mist prompted a school bus evacuation Monday. The bus was carrying students from Buffalo Creek Middle School when at least one of the children discharged an excessive amount of Axe body spray, WFLA reports. Authorities believe the incident was a prank. Thirty Manatee County children were escorted off the bus, 15 of whom were treated for “mild respiratory irritation” and released, according to Parrish Fire District officials. Photos from the scene show at least four ambulances, along with Parrish fire vehicles. A second driver met the evacuated students to help them get home. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: SPIT IN MY MOUTH!

Once upon a time, people would ask for an autograph if they ever met their favourite celebrity. But when one slowthai fan finally got the chance to meet their idol onstage, she asked him to spit in her mouth. And he agreed. Twenty-four-year-old rapper slowthai – real name Tyron Frampton – was in the US this week supporting Brockhampton on their North American tour. And just like back home, the young rapper has already picked up a reputation for his larger-than-life persona and chaotic live performances. But this show in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, might just take the prize for the strangest incident in the rapper’s career to date. In a video widely-shared on Twitter, the Northampton MC can be seen jumping offstage after spotting a woman in the front row brandishing a sign that reads (what else?) ‘slowthai I need you to spit in my mouth’. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: HERE COME THE JUDGE

A family court judge in Kentucky is facing numerous accusations of professional and sexual misconduct, as state authorities say Kenton County Judge Dawn Gentry coerced colleagues to support her election campaign, made inappropriate advances toward an attorney and had sex in a courthouse office. Kentucky’s Judicial Conduct Commission is preparing to hold a disciplinary hearing about the formal charges against Gentry. There are no immediate plans for impeachment proceedings against her in Kentucky’s upcoming legislative session, according to state Rep. Adam Koenig — but he adds, “It is an option that we need consider, in my view.” “This needs to be taken very seriously,” says Koenig, whose district includes part of Kenton County. Calling the allegations against Gentry “extremely troubling,” Koenig says they “reflect an abuse of power, among other issues.” Read More

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