Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for December 13th, 2019

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: HEY SANTA FAKER, GET OUT OF OUR MALL!

A South Carolina man said he was kicked out of a shopping mall because he looked too much like Santa Claus. The Santa look-alike, Robert Allen, goes everywhere decked out in his signature red and white costume. With a long gray beard and a little round belly, it’s a look he’s been working on for a decade. “All of sudden everybody is like, ‘You look just like Santa Claus,’” he told CBS affiliate WBTV. Allen, who jokingly calls himself “Robby Claus,” said he travels the state trying to get people to laugh and spread a little love over the Christmas season. But, dressing up as Kris Kringle apparently has its pitfalls. Allen says he was recently eating lunch with his family at the Rock Hill Galleria in Rock Hill when mall security asked him to leave. “You can’t come in here. I said, ‘Why?’ You look too much like Santa Clause. I said, ‘What, all I want to do is get some lunch,’” said Allen. Representatives for the mall told WBTV it has an exclusive contract with another Santa so it’s not allowed to have any Santa look-alikes hanging around.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I WAS TAKING THESE PRESENTS BACK TO SANTA’S WORKSHOP

UPS is investigating after a Denver man recorded an employee apparently tossing dozens of packages out of the back of a delivery truck and onto the ground. Joe Herrera was working last Friday when he saw a UPS truck pull into a parking lot off of West 44th Avenue and Kipling Street in Wheat Ridge. He spotted the UPS delivery driver dump the packages. He says a woman standing next to the UPS truck then loaded the boxes into her van. UPS hires seasonal employees to make deliveries from their personal vehicles. “She was just standing their laughing as the packages were coming, flying out,” Herrera told KDVR. In the video, one can see packages being thrown out the back of the UPS truck. “It’s just really disturbing,” Herrera said. “It was a huge pile.” Herrera calls the workers’ actions appalling. “People paid really good money for that stuff. Those are people’s Christmas presents,” he said.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: BUT RELIGIOUS LIBERTIES! RIGHT CHRIS STEWART?

A woman in Minnesota is suing two pharmacies, including CVS, for sex discrimination after she claims she was denied a morning-after pill. Andrea Anderson, a 39-year-old mother of five, said she was first refused the pill at her local pharmacy, Thrifty White Pharmacy in McGregor, according to a lawsuit filed in Minnesota’s Ninth Judicial District on Tuesday. Anderson called in the prescription and just before she went to pick it up, she received a call from a pharmacist there who told her that he couldn’t fill the prescription because of his “personal beliefs,” the lawsuit claims. After complaining to the pharmacy’s owner, Anderson claimed she was told that this was not the first time the pharmacist, who also serves as a local pastor, refused a prescription. Yet her troubles didn’t end there, she and her lawyers say. When she tried a CVS that was located about 25 minutes away, she was allegedly told her prescription couldn’t be filled there either. The pharmacist at the CVS also tried to stop Anderson from obtaining it at a nearby Walgreens by allegedly telling her that they didn’t have it in stock, the lawsuit claims. Yet when Anderson called Walgreens “to double check,” she was told that the pharmacy did indeed have Ella and could fill her prescription.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: MAYBE YOU CAN HEAR MY MACHETE

A Taco Bell worker in Texas allegedly had a customer running for his safety — instead of the border — after threatening him with an 18-inch machete in a drive-thru lane. Samuel Batiste Hemmit, 21, is facing charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after a man told Austin cops he swung the weapon at his truck as he ordered food Sunday, the Austin American-Statesman reported. “Can you not hear?” the male customer replied to Hemmit after he asked the man what he wanted to order several times, according to an arrest affidavit. “Why don’t you pull up and I will show you what I have for you,” Hemmit told the man after cursing him out, the customer told police. Hemmit was waiting for the customer at the cashier window while holding a black machete and spewing expletives, the customer said. The confrontation kept escalating until Hemmit swung at the customer’s truck, twice striking its driver-side mirror. Hemmit then stashed the machete in a dumpster after the man drove off, surveillance footage shows.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I’M SANTA CLAUS…DON’T YOU WANT TO BE MY BEST FRIEND?

An 8-year-old Mississippi girl first heard strange music and other odd noises in her bedroom – then she heard a voice. Ashley LeMay told WMC that the chilling sounds were coming from a hacked Ring camera mounted in her daughter’s bedroom. LeMay said she bought the camera as a Black Friday deal so she could check in on her three girls during her late shifts as a nurse. LeMay said the camera was mounted for four days when something caught her daughter Alyssa’s attention. “First, what happened I was in the hallway I thought it was my sister because I hear music,” she told WMC. Playing in her bedroom was the high falsetto voice of Tiny Tim’s “Tiptoe Through The Tulips.” “So I come upstairs and I hear some banging noise and I am like, ‘Who is that?’” In the recording, a man’s voice answers back, “I’m your best friend!” At that point Alyssa yells, “Mommy!” to which the voice replies, “I’m Santa Claus, don’t you want to be my best friend?” WMC reports that the stranger encouraged “destructive behavior” before her father, who was home at the time, found out what was going on. The Ring camera is now disconnected and the couple plan to return it.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: SHE SAID, “SOMETHING’S UP WITH MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE TO LEAVE.”

A man with special needs is recovering after he says he was hit by a car in Ogden and the person drove off. Now his family is searching for the person responsible. Davey Elmer said he was walking to work down a sidewalk on 12th Street near Washington Boulevard a week ago Friday, when a woman driving a blue Ford 500 turned right out of a parking lot and ran over him. The 39-year old has autism, but his family explained Davey likes to lead an independent life. He lives at home, and takes public transportation to and from work where he’s a janitor at a special needs school. On Thursday evening, Davey sat in the living room at his family’s home, reading a Star Wars book. It’s one of his favorite things to do. He planned to leave and attend a holiday party with his girlfriend later that evening. Every time he leaves his house, Davey puts on a bright yellow reflective vest so that he’s easy to spot when he’s walking. He also makes sure he isn’t wearing headphones, and stays aware of his surroundings. Right now, Davey needs to be driven around, and his father helps him walk. Davey’s right foot is strapped into a Velcro boot, and his left leg has a brace on it under his jeans. Davey’s foot is swollen and bruised from being crushed, and his mother Micki Elmer said Davey may have torn a ligament in his leg. Davey said when he walked up to where the woman was turning right out of the parking lot, they looked at each other and he walked in front of the car. That’s when he said the woman pulled forward and ran into him.   Read More


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