Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for December 18th, 2019

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: WELL…HE DID RING THE DOORBELL FIRST

An unidentified man came onto the porch of a home in Denver’s Capitol Hill neighborhood early Saturday morning and defecated. It was all captured on a doorbell camera. It’s one of the last things Scott McCoy expected to see while skiing in the mountains over the weekend. He was skiing, when the notifications started popping up on his phone. “I’m on Gondola 1, heading back down at the end of the day. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” McCoy told KDVR. Through 41 different doorbell videos on his phone, he watched the incident happen. He says it appears the man was intoxicated. First the man rings the doorbell, then tries to break into the home just before 2 a.m. Next, he goes over to a corner of the porch and defecates on it, and then spends the next few hours stumbling and spreading feces all over the porch. “Unfortunately, he then touches lots of furniture, other parts of the wall, and a window. That’s how we ended up with the current situation where there is excrement all over the porch,” McCoy said, as he flipped through various videos of the incident on his phone. “Initially you’re a little bit angry that someone has violated your front porch—someone has soiled up your front porch,” he added.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: “I DIDN’T WANT TO LIE, THEY JUST NEVER ASKED”

Don’t open for a surprise! Passengers on a recent United Airlines flight from Texas to California may not have realized that a pet carrier tucked under the seat wasn’t housing a fluffy dog or purring cat (or even a mini pony), but an opossum — arguably one of the most frightening looking animals on the planet. Even more frightening: the flight attendants might not have known the wild animal was flying. Gerald Tautenhahn, who keeps the animal as a pet, posted his sneaky boarding story on Instagram after being kicked off his original return flight days earlier. Tautenhahn told Fox 7 Austin that he brought along his pet opossum, Zatara, on a JetBlue flight from Long Beach, California, to Austin, Texas, to visit his family for Thanksgiving. But on the return flight, when the airline realized it wasn’t a pooch or kitty in his carrier, he was booted from the plane. Stranded for days, he eventually booked a ticket on a United flight and took his chances — essentially sneaking the nocturnal wild animal on the plane. Tautenhahn told The Post that he “didn’t want to lie to United about Zatara,” but that flight attendants “didn’t even ask.”   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: BACKED BY THE BRITISH TOILET ASSOCIATION, YOU SAY?

An extended office bathroom break could be a thing of the past thanks to a new toilet that developers say will make people want to leave the loo after five minutes. The ‘StandardToilet’, created by a start-up company of the same name, has been backed by the British Toilet Association (BTA), a group that campaigns for better bathroom facilities in offices and public spaces. The seat is sloped forward by about 13 degrees to increase strain on the legs similar to a gentle squat thrust, according to developer Mahabir Gill from StandardToilet. The Staffordshire based company says it has already had interest from local councils and motorway service stations for the £150 – £500 toilet. They hope to also target offices as they believe cutting down on the length of employee bathroom breaks would dramatically improve productivity. ‘It is estimated that in the United Kingdom alone, extended employee breaks costs industry and commerce an £4 billion per annum’, Mr Gill said. ‘With the advent of flexible zero hour contracts it is easy to see why our StandardToilet can be an asset to a business.’ He says it provides health and wellbeing benefits through improved posture and encouraging less time sitting on the toilet.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: POOP ON A DISH

Remember the days when your parents would buy a pack of 30 identical Christmas cards for you to give to your classmates at school? After putting a bit of effort into the cards for the people you liked, you were left to scribble the same repetitive message in the other 20 like a Z-list celebrity at the world’s worst book signing. One cheeky child found a creative way to make the whole ordeal a lot more entertaining, by swapping the usual seasonal greetings with something slightly more spicy. After picking out a set of cards with an adorable grey kitty wearing a Santa hat on the front and a ‘Happy Christmas’ message printed inside, a mum left her seven-year-old son to address them to his school friends. Once he was done, the cards were sealed and handed out. When his mum decided to look at one card which hadn’t yet been delivered, she was made to quickly regret not proof reading the others, as reported by The Sun . Posting on The Motherload Facebook group, she wrote: “My darling child sent 30 of these out. Posting on The Motherload Facebook group, she wrote: “My darling child sent 30 of these out. “This is the only one I checked. Pray for me.” The message of ‘Make a wish’ on the front had been scrawled out, as had the drafts of plenty of other replacement messages, simply leaving the word ‘poo’ branded on the hat of the poor innocent cat. Inside he had written the classic Christmas message of ‘Eat poop on a dish. Love Oliver.’ ‘Poo pon’ was also drafted out but didn’t make the final cut.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: CBS…ADDING INSULT TO INJURY

A “60 Minutes” associate producer is suing CBS, claiming she was harassed by her boss, longtime producer Michael Gavshon, and then ostracized at the show after speaking up about his behavior. The lawsuit, filed in New York State Supreme Court on Tuesday, comes a little more than a year after the famed television newsmagazine supposedly cleaned house in the wake of a series of sexual misconduct scandals that led to the ouster of the show’s executive producer, Jeff Fager, and the network’s CEO, Les Moonves, among others. In the complaint, associate producer Cassandra Vinograd said that after formally complaining to CBS executives about Gavshon in September, she was retaliated against by the network. Vinograd told executives over email and in person that Gavshon was frequently drunk at work, making it hard for her to work with him. She shared with executives an old photo he sent her via text message late at night, of him urinating on a campfire. An hour after sending the text, Gavshon texted that he was “sorry” and that the photo was meant for his sister. For Vinograd, the photo was the last straw. In a statement Tuesday, Gavshon said that he meant to share with his sister an old photo of him with a friend who had just died, showing the two of them in an act of adolescent rebellion at the end of school exams. He said he was “mortified” to find out he’d sent it to Vinograd and “apologized profusedly” to her at the time. He also refuted her claim he was drunk at work. Since speaking out, the 35-year-old journalist has been “stripped of all her work responsibilities,” according to the lawsuit. “CBS has failed to give Cassie a single assignment. Further, she is consistently excluded from work meetings, calls and emails.“ Gavshon, who’s been with CBS for more than 30 years, produces segments for Anderson Cooper, also a host at CNN, and Jon Wertheim, executive editor for Sports Illustrated.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: HOW DO THESE PEOPLE BECOME COPS?

A Cleveland cop who urinated on a 12-year-old girl in a revolting attack at a school bus stop has pleaded guilty, according to reports. Officer Solomon Nhiwatiwa, 34, copped to three felonies and one misdemeanor in the Aug. 16 attack at a bus stop in Euclid, where the off-duty cop initially asked the victim if she needed a ride, WEWS-TV reported. The girl refused the offer, prompting Nhiwatiwa to drive off, only to return a minute later. He then exposed himself to the young girl before recording himself urinating on her, prosecutors said. “There’s reports that come across my desk that just leave me shaking my head,” prosecutor Michael O’Malley told the station. “Certainly this is one that I will never forget because you just cannot believe anyone — let alone a law enforcement officer — could engage in this type of activity.” As part of his plea on Monday, Nhiwatiwa agreed to give up his police officer certification and will have to register as a sex offender for the next 15 years. He faces up to 7½ years at his sentencing on Jan. 21, Cleveland.com reported.   Read More


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