Boners

Boner of the Day for December 1st, 2020

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: DID YA GET YER DEMOCRAT?

Far-right evangelical talk radio host Rick Wiles asserted on Tuesday that conservative Americans will “hunt” Democrats if President Donald Trump is removed from office. Wiles, a Florida pastor who is an ardent antisemite and conspiracy theorist, made the comments while speaking on his televised TruNews show, which is hosted on the End Times broadcasting network, during a segment about the ongoing impeachment inquiry against the president. “If they take him out, there is going to be violence in America. There are people in this country, veterans, cowboys, mountain men, guys that know how to fight, and they’re going to make a decision that the people that did this to Donald Trump are not going to get away with it and they’re going to hunt them down,” Wiles said, before adding that he is deadly “serious.” “If these people in Washington think that they are going to get away with it, it’s not going to happen,” he continued. “The Trump supporters are going to hunt them down. It’s going to happen and this country is going to be plunged into darkness and they brought it upon themselves because they won’t back off.”

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Boner Candidate #2: WILL THEY BE ALLOWED LAST WORDS AND A FINAL CIGARETTE.

President Donald Trump’s campaign lawyer Joseph diGenova suggested Monday that Chris Krebs, the former chief of U.S. cybersecurity, should be executed for defending the integrity of the Nov. 3 election. “Anybody who thinks the election went well, like that idiot Krebs who used to be the head of cybersecurity, that guy is a class A moron. He should be drawn and quartered. Taken out at dawn and shot,” diGenova said in a call-in interview to “The Howie Carr Show,” which was broadcast on the radio, Newsmax and online streams. Krebs was fired by the president earlier this month after the Department of Homeland Security office he led, the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, said publicly that it had found no evidence of votes being deleted, lost, changed or compromised in the 2020 election ― disputing Trump’s baseless claims of rampant fraud.

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Boner Candidate #3: GOTTA GO.

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania state senator abruptly left a West Wing meeting with President Donald Trump after being informed he had tested positive for the coronavirus, a person with direct knowledge of the meeting told The Associated Press on Sunday. Republican state Sen. Doug Mastriano had gone to the White House last Wednesday with like-minded Republican state lawmakers shortly after a four-hour-plus public meeting that Mastriano helped host in Gettysburg — maskless — to discuss efforts to overturn president-elect Joe Biden’s victory in the state. Trump told Mastriano that White House medical personnel would take care of him, his son and his son’s friend, who were also there for the Oval Office meeting and tested positive. The meeting continued after Mastriano and the others left, the person said. The person spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss the private session because the matter is politically sensitive.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: I’M NOT A VERY GOOD SHOPLIFTER

OMAHA, NEBRASKA – A woman who allegedly tried to shoplift items from a store in Omaha’s Old Market left behind cash, a check and her phone, police reported. The incident occurred Nov. 24 near 13th and Harney Streets. The owner of the store told police that a woman entered the business shortly after 4 p.m. and began loading some personal items and store goods into a duffel bag. She then tried to leave without paying, the owner said. A 23-year-old male employee blocked the woman’s exit after a store alarm sounded. The woman then allegedly grabbed the employee by the groin while pushing past him. The employee grabbed the duffel bag from the woman and took it back into the store. The woman returned but fled when she heard the police had been called. A search of the bag found several items belonging to the woman, including a check from the Douglas County Corrections Center and $421.50 in cash, plus store items. The store staff also found a phone plugged in at the store that traced back to the name of the woman on the check.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHY MR. HANNITY? DID THEY DO SOMETHING WRONG?

Fox News host didn’t specify what criminal charges the Trumps could be up against. President Donald Trump “needs to pardon his whole family and himself” as he walks “out the door” of the White House, Fox News host Sean Hannity said on his radio show Monday. “I assume that the power of the pardon is absolute and that he should be able to pardon anybody that he wants to,” Hannity declared as he interviewed fringe lawyer Sidney Powell. Powell was bounced from Trump’s election legal team earlier this month after spouting bizarre conspiracy theories claiming that Venezuela, Cuba, “antifa,” George Soros, the Clinton Foundation and the deceased Hugo Chávez, among others, were responsible for shifting November’s presidential election to Democrat Joe Biden. Hannity did not specify what criminal charges Trump or his family could face. He insisted Trump needs to pardon himself and his family to protect him from unspecified “witch hunts.” Powell told Hannity that she didn’t know the details of Trump’s “authority to pardon himself.” But she insisted it wouldn’t be unnecessary because “the president is going to get another four years in office” — despite losing to President-elect Biden.

Boner Candidate #3: NOT AN ERROR IN JUDGEMENT.

RITA Ora has offered to pay a £10k fine after throwing an “inexcusable” 30th birthday party with 30 pals. The pop star told The Sun she is “deeply sorry for breaking the rules” as she apologized for throwing the lavish bash on Saturday night. Sources revealed she has voluntarily offered to pay the £10,000 fine after speaking to cops – who also attended her home this morning. And in a statement shared on Instagram today, Rita said: “Hello all, I attended a small gathering with some friends to celebrate my 30th birthday. It was a spur of the moment decision made with the misguided view that we were coming out of lockdown and this would be OK… I’m deeply sorry for breaking the rules and in turn understand that this puts people at risk. “This was a serious and inexcusable error of judgement. Given the restrictions, I realize how irresponsible these actions were and I take full responsibility. “I feel particularly embarrassed knowing first-hand how hard people have worked to combat this terrible illness and being fully aware of the sacrifices that people and businesses have made to help keep us all safe .Even though this won’t make it right, I want to sincerely apologize.” Thirty people attended the secret bash at a restaurant in West London on Saturday.


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