Boners

Boner of the Day for December 22, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: GO AHEAD…GET VACCINATED IF YOU WANT TO TURN INTO A CROCODILE OR A BEARDED LADY

Jair Bolsonaro said drug giant Pfizer won’t take ‘responsibility’ if the vaccine turns people into ‘crocodiles’. This comes after Bolsonaro, who tested positive in July after ignoring social distancing guidelines, said he would not get the vaccine because he has “antibodies” dismissing his critics as “idiots.” On Thursday, Bolsonaro slammed drug giant Pfizer for allegedly not taking responsibility for side effects for the vaccine which has went through three stages of clinical trials. He said: “In the Pfizer contract, it’s very clear. ‘We’re not responsible for any side effects.’ If you turn into a crocodile, that’s your problem.

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Boner Candidate #2: YOU GUYS PICKED THE WRONG NURSE FOR A TV SHOT

THE Tennessee nurse who passed out live on television after receiving the coronavirus vaccine has “vanished” sparking outlandish claims she had died. Tiffany Dover, 30, fainted around 17 minutes after she was given the Pfizer vaccine, fueling wild conspiracy theories. Tiffany Dover has “vanished” after she fainted receiving the vaccine. Medics rushed to her side to catch her as she fainted live on television. She has since been inactive on all of her social media accounts and has not been seen in the public eye. This has led users to flood her pages with comments and concern as rumours continue to circulate of her “death”.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE GENERAL IS SORRY

Army Gen. Gustave Perna, who is leading Operation Warp Speed, speaks during at an event in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington. The Army general in charge of getting COVID-19 vaccines across the United States apologized on Saturday, Dec. 19, for “miscommunication” with states over the number of doses to be delivered in the early stages of distribution.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THE 2019 VINTAGE OF RAINSVILLE WASTEWATER RED IS WONDERFUL

A supervisor at Alabama’s Rainsville Wastewater Treatment Plant was suspended after using the facility as a wine-making operation, Huntsville, Ala., news station WAFF reports. Acting on a tip that alcohol was being made at the plant, deputies visited the plant Thursday.

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Boner Candidate #2: I KNOW EVERY ONE OF THEM BY NAME

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) – The Oregon Humane Society in Portland has taken in 250 guinea pigs from an overwhelmed pet owner. It’s not known exactly how the unidentified person in Lane County became inundated with the furry little rodents, Oregon Public Broadcasting reported. But experts say it can be difficult to determine a guinea pig’s gender — and they’re best kept in pairs — because they keep each other company. Oregon Humane Society spokeswoman Laura Klink said an adoption timeline will be determined in the next several days.

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Boner Candidate #3: I AM ONE OF THE MANY ASKING WHY

U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio and some of his fellow members in Congress are being criticized on social media after posting photos of themselves getting early doses of COVID-19 vaccines. All members of Congress are being offered the vaccinations as part of protocols to ensure the “continuity of government operations,” according to the Associated Press. President-elect Joe Biden received his first dose Monday in front of cameras as part of an effort to promote the safety of getting the vaccines.

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