ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: START THAT BOY WITH AN AK
Crestview, FL — A woman who bought a baby shower gift at a Florida Goodwill store was shocked when the father-to-be opened the box and found a loaded semi-automatic rifle inside. Veronica Alvarez-Rodriguez says she paid $9.99 for what appeared to be a brand new, unopened Baby Einstein’s bouncer as they headed to a friend’s baby shower Sunday. She says some of the guests laughed, but she and her husband were shocked. They called the Crestview Police Department and the incident is being investigated. An employee at the Goodwill store said she couldn’t comment. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: WE COULDN’T GET THE KKK GRAND WIZARD.
Despite stirring up holiday season controversy for the second year in a row, Kid Rock will serve as the grand marshal for the Leiper’s Fork Christmas Parade. Last year, Kid Rock, real name Robert James Ritchie, made headlines after a profanity-laced rant against The View co-host Joy Behar, an outspoken critic of President Donald Trump, on Fox News’ morning show, Fox & Friends. “God forbid you say something a little bit wrong, you’re racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, this that and another. People need to calm down get a little less politically correct,” Rock said following live TV interview, as reported by the Tennessean. Before the incident, Rock was scheduled as the grand marshal of the Nashville Christmas Parade. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: SURE THE NEIGHBORHOOD STINKS…AND THE HOUSES ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE TOO.
UTAH COUNTY, Utah—Officials with the Utah Department of Environmental Quality say a strange smell that has been plaguing Utah County since early November will likely continue for the next six months. The smell is coming from coal tar pits at the old Geneva Steel plant in Vineyard. The United States Steel Corporation has been tasked with cleaning up the site as UDEQ oversees the operation. While most people just notice a very unpleasant smell, some reported experiencing headaches or nausea from the smell of naphthalene. The symptoms are commonly associated with exposure to the chemical. Naphthalene is typically known for being an ingredient in mothballs. Keither Kuder, who lives in Vineyard, said the smell has been giving him migraines. Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: ROCK MUSIC HAS BEEN LINKED TO ABORTION
(CNN)Three decades ago in Rio de Janeiro, Freddie Mercury made history with a performance of the Queen hit “Love of My Life,” at the now-legendary Rock in Rio music festival. The scene of thousands of Queen fans all singing along was an indelible one — and one recently featured in the film “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Brazil has always been famous for its music. The birthplace of beloved genres like samba, maracatu and forro, it is also a welcoming longtime home for global music styles. But now, one of Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro’s top officials for culture is declaring a war on rock and roll. “Rock music leads to drugs, which leads to sex, which leads to abortions,” claimed Dante Mantovani, newly-appointed head of the National Arts Foundation (Funarte), in a recent post on his personal YouTube page. “At the same time, the abortion industry feeds into something much more serious which is Satanism,” he added. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: SORRY WASATCH COUNTY TAX PAYERS; SOMEONE DROPPED THEIR PHONE.
SALT LAKE CITY — At the beginning of an emergency Wasatch County Council meeting last month, Council Chairman Danny Goode said a brief prayer ahead of what he knew was going to be a tough discussion. “Dear God, help us all,” he said. The Nov. 4 meeting was to address a clerical error that’s now creating a headache for taxing entities across the entire county — including one that could end up hitting taxpayers in their wallets over the next several years. The error? An erroneous overvaluation of a single home for almost $1 billion. The 1,570-square-foot house built in 1978 on 2 acres in an unincorporated area of the county was recorded in 2019 tax rolls with a market rate value of more than $987 million and an overestimate of about $543 million in taxable value. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: SPAIN’S BIG BROTHER HOUSE TAKES
MADRID — A contestant on a Spanish reality television show says she was sexually assaulted by another contestant while she was unconscious — an attack that was recorded. The show’s producers then forced her to watch and filmed her reaction. Two years later, it has all burst into the open, with the recent leak of a video in which the woman, then 24, can be seen sobbing after the show’s staff made her watch images of her own assault. The video of her pained reaction has spread widely on social media, prompting a national backlash against the show, “Gran Hermano” — the Spanish version of “Big Brother” — and against what campaigners against sex crimes and harassment say is a culture that still does not take the problems seriously enough. Read More
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