Boners

Boner of the Day for July 9th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: SURE HE’S A RACIST, BUT HE’S OUR RACIST.

When Brandon Sicilia was named the police chief of Price City last July, some residents of the small Utah town were “horrified.” While the 47-year-old law enforcement official had spent over two decades serving the Carbon County city of 8,715 residents, he also had a history of posting vile, racist comments on Facebook. “Ol’ Busta, once again demonstrated the prime example of a Typical coward N—er. BTW: I don’t use the term much… But, when I do, It’s equivalent to one satanic S.O.B,” Sicilia wrote in a 2016 post, obtained by The Daily Beast, that didn’t censor the N-word. In a Nov. 30, 2016, post, the future chief went after former President Barack Obama, posting a pro-police meme with the comment, “Probably served a lil swine salad to the kid for lunch, as well… oh that’s right, their [sic] both Muslim, so they don’t like “pigs” AKA: Cops.”

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Boner Candidate #2: WHITE LIVES ARE BETTER

A Tennessee woman caught on a viral video shouting racial and homophobic slurs at a Black Lives Matter rally has been fired from her job, according to reports. Sonya Holt was seen yelling “White lives matter, white lives are better” during the protest in Elizabethton on Saturday, at one point yelling at a protester, “You’re a gay homosexual piece of crap who’s going to burn in hell,” WCYB-TV reported. At another point, Holt is heard calling one protester “just a poor little black girl with a messed-up mind.” After the video went viral on social media, Keith Family Vision Clinic in Johnson City said they were cutting ties with Holt, the outlet said.

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Boner Candidate #3: NO. NO. NO. JUST NO.

PARIS – Stream of wheat? An enterprising French baker is switching up her bread recipe, or should we say reci-pee, by using wheat fertilized with female urine harvested from public restrooms. “Urine is a great fertilizer,” said engineer and self-proclaimed “ecofeminist” Louise Raguet, who regularly gathers piddle from female urinals in the 14th Arrondissement of Paris, reported RT. She’s the brains behind “Boucle d’Or” — or Goldilocks bread. Raguet’s goal: To “break taboos over excrement,” and create a sustainable food cycle. According to a new study published by the French Urban Planning Agency, some 29 million loaves of urine-utilizing bread could be baked daily, saving farmers 703 tons of nitrogen employed in artificial fertilizers per day. Perhaps it’s true what they say that April showers bringing May flours. “It’s a neglected liquid, usually dismissed as a waste,” said Raguet, adding that urine harbors nitrogen, potassium and many of the other nutrients that plants extract from the soil. As such, it “should be treated like a gold mine,” she said.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: WE NEED THE WHITE PEOPLE TO PARTICIPATE

A Mississippi election commissioner sparked outrage after complaining on social media that black residents in the state were holding lots of voter registration events, a report said. The commissioner, Gail Welch of Jones County, wrote the comment on Facebook last week — just as state legislators had approved a measure to remove a Confederate symbol from the state flag, the Clarion Ledger reported. “I’m concerned about voter registration in Mississippi,” Welch wrote in the Facebook post, according to the report. “The blacks are having lots (of) events for voter registration. People in Mississippi have to get involved, too,” she added. The state senator whose district includes parts of Jones County told the newspaper that the statement raises credibility questions about Welch’s office. “With people saying that kind of stuff, it makes them question, if this person is over the election, are they really going to run this?” Sen. Juan Barnett told the newspaper.

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Boner Candidate #2: SLAPPED ON THE WRIST FOR SLAPPING

Blue Jays player Reese McGuire is breathing easier heading into the MLB’s rebooted season … the catcher just cut a plea deal with prosecutors in his public masturbation case, and received nothing more than a slap on the wrist. A spokesperson for the State Attorney’s Office in Pinellas County, FL tells TMZ Sports McGuire pled nolo contendere to a reduced 2nd-degree misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct on July 1. In exchange, his punishment was nothing more than fines and court costs … the spokesperson said. It’s a big deal for McGuire … the 25-year-old was accused of exposing his penis and masturbating inside his car in a public parking lot in Dunedin, FL back in February. In the police report, obtained by TMZ Sports, cops say they saw McGuire with his shirt “barely covering his genitals” and his sweatpants around his ankles when they arrived on the scene. Cops say during questioning, McGuire told them, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, this is really embarrassing.” Cops also say McGuire added, “I really shouldn’t have been doing that.”

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Boner Candidate #3: YOU VOTED THESE GUYS INTO OFFICE.

House Speaker Brad Wilson and Senate President Stuart Adams state the idea of a mask mandate raises questions about enforcement and punishment. “As legislators, we are working to strike a balance between policies that protect public health and citizens’ rights,” Adams stated. Wilson said a mask mandate would apply the same policy to heavily populated areas as sparsely populated ones where there are different rates of COVID-19 infection. Both legislators stated the believe Utahns should wear masks voluntarily, and plan to lead by example by masking up themselves. Wilson and Adams met with Gov. Gary Herbert the day after the Utah Hospital Association sent a letter to the three of them asking for a statewide mask mandate. The association cited support from Utah businesses and date showing that mass mask-wearing can reduce the spread of the virus. The Utah Department of Health reported the highest ever single day total of COVID-19 cases on Wednesday, and health officials have expressed repeated concerns that if daily case counts don’t lower, the state’s hospitals could be overwhelmed with virus patients.

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