ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: DUMB LITTLE SO AND SOS’…..
Two teenagers are facing charges after firing off illegal fireworks and starting a major fire in Provo. via KUTV
Boner Candidate #2: THE WATERMELON WAS JUST TOO MUCH
A Georgia IKEA was attempting to celebrate Juneteenth by serving watermelon and fried chicken. via NY POST
Boner Candidate #3: HE DID IT ON THE WRONG TESTICLE
Dr. Raul Fernandez-Crespo is being fined for doing surgery on his patients wrong testicle. via Miami Herald
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: SMORES ASSAULT
A man in South Carolina called the cops on his girlfriend for assaulting him during an argument about S’mores. via The Smoking Gun
Boner Candidate #2: JUST ADOPT A SHELTER PET WILL YOU
State Wildlife officials had to put down a Coyote that someone was keeping as a pet because it bit a neighborhood child. via KSL
Boner Candidate #3: NAZI NUT
An Austrian solider is in prison for almost 2 years for posing a picture of his swastika tattoo online. via Times of Israel