ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: THEY ALSO BELIEVE THAT DONALD TRUMP IS STILL PRESIDENT.
A new study that polls over 2,00 American adults reveals that 4 in 10 of adults believe that dinosaurs exist somewhere in the world. 2 in the 10 believe that dinosaurs only went extinct 100 years ago, or the year after women won the right to vote.
Boner Candidate #2: THE LIZARD HAD IT COMING
After an iguana bit him on the arm, a Florida man beats the iguana to death citing the ‘stand your ground’ law.
Boner Candidate #3: COULDN’T SOMEONE HAVE NOTICED THIS?
A 6-year old girl was forced through 473 unnecessary because of her adopted mother. The surgeries included hormonal implants, and a feeding tube directly in her stomach. The girl was taken into proper care, where she was found to be perfectly healthy.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THEY SAVED THEM FROM DROWNING AND NOT ONE WORD OF THANKS.
A video shows a boat with pride flags being harassed by another boat which was purposely circling them with the goal of creating waves, and shouting slurs. In a wonderfully cathatric example of instant karma, their boat went up in flames forcing them to swim to the once harassed pride boat for refuge.
Boner Candidate #2: I WAS AIMING FOR THE DOG.
A Texas mother shot her 5-year old son in an accident while trying to shoot a dog across the street.
Boner Candidate #3: THE MAJESTY OF LOVE
The man who attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan, is now trying to win the heart of actress Jodie Foster. He’s put his gun down in favor of a guitar for plenty of love songs that have built him a YouTube following.
