Round One
Boner Candidate #1: I WAS JUST TRYING TO SCARE SOMEBODY.
Criminal complaint: Former Idaho GOP chair wore wig, masturbated outside apartment complex.Witnessing a crime and reporting it can be just as frightening as being the victim of a crime. Here’s what you should do if you witness illegal activity. By Nicole L. CvetnicBoise Police on Thursday arrested Jonathan Parker — a lobbyist and former Idaho Republican Party chairman — and booked him into the Ada County Jail on a felony first-degree stalking charge.According to the criminal complaint, on or between May 16 and May 30, Parker “did knowingly and maliciously engage” in conduct that “seriously alarmed, annoyed or harassed (his wife) Kelly Parker.” The complaint states that Parker’s conduct included “repeatedly hiding in bushes, masturbating, disguising himself with a wig” at or near her apartment complex.On May 30, police said they received a call about a man acting strangely near homes in the 300 block of N. Whitewater Park Blvd. Officers made contact with that man and identified him as Parker. Further investigation revealed that there is an active protection order between Parker and a woman living nearby — his wife — and Parker was then arrested.
Boner Candidate #2: FAKE NEWS AMID THE DEAD
Boner Candidate #3: HE’S TEN!
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: YOU ARE PUTTING THE OTHER DINERS OFF THEIR FEED.
Boner Candidate #2: JUST PUT ‘EM ALL IN JAIL.
Thousands of children put on alternative therapies amid measles outbreak, potentially exposing them to life-threatening illness. Rally held to protest proposed bill to remove parents’ ability to claim a philosophical exemption to opt their children out of measles vaccine at the Capitol in Olympia, Washington, on 8 February. Photograph: Ted S Warren/AP. Thousands of American children are being put on homeopathic alternatives to vaccination by practitioners who claim they can prevent measles and “cure” autism, the Guardian has learned. At least 200 homeopaths in the US are practicing a controversial “therapy” known as Cease that falsely asserts that it has the power to treat and even cure autism. The acronym stands for Complete Elimination of Autistic Spectrum Expression. The “therapy” relies in part on administering high doses of vitamin C. Advocates falsely say it repairs the harm caused by vaccination – a double untruth as most vaccines are safe and there is no link between vaccines and autism, a condition for which there is no cure.
Boner Candidate #3: I MEAN…ALCOHOL MAN. COME ON. IT WASN’T MY FAULT.
Raptors Fan Arrested Over Vulgar Comment About Ayesha Curry On Live TV. Cops in Toronto have arrested the moronic Raptors fan who went on a live TV news broadcast and said he was going to “F**k” Ayesha Curry. The incident occurred on June 2 following the Raptors loss to the Golden State Warriors in Game 2 of the NBA Finals … a game in which Ayesha’s husband, Steph Curry, dropped 23 points and 4 assists. A CP24 news reporter in Canada was interviewing Raptors fans during a live news broadcast after the game to get their reactions when 28-year-old Tristan Warkentin stepped up to the mic. When asked what it was like to be at the stadium for the game, Warkentin responded … “The vibe was unreal and I just want to let everyone know Ayesha Curry we’re gonna f**k her right in the p**sy.”The Toronto Police Service says Warkentin was arrested for criminal mischief since he knew his comments would air on live TV. A court date has been set for July 11. After the incident, Warkentin said he had been receiving death threats because of his comments. He also told the Toronto Sun, “I’m not in a position to defend myself in terms of what happened. I am sure you understand the influence of alcohol.” “What I did was disgraceful; it was an alcohol-influenced situation … To be honest I don’t even remember being there but I am responsible for my own actions at the end of the day” and “am not sitting here claiming victim.”
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