Boners

Boner of the Day for June 7th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I WAS JUST TRYING TO SCARE SOMEBODY.

Criminal complaint: Former Idaho GOP chair wore wig, masturbated outside apartment complex.Witnessing a crime and reporting it can be just as frightening as being the victim of a crime. Here’s what you should do if you witness illegal activity. By Nicole L. CvetnicBoise Police on Thursday arrested Jonathan Parker — a lobbyist and former Idaho Republican Party chairman — and booked him into the Ada County Jail on a felony first-degree stalking charge.According to the criminal complaint, on or between May 16 and May 30, Parker “did knowingly and maliciously engage” in conduct that “seriously alarmed, annoyed or harassed (his wife) Kelly Parker.” The complaint states that Parker’s conduct included “repeatedly hiding in bushes, masturbating, disguising himself with a wig” at or near her apartment complex.On May 30, police said they received a call about a man acting strangely near homes in the 300 block of N. Whitewater Park Blvd. Officers made contact with that man and identified him as Parker. Further investigation revealed that there is an active protection order between Parker and a woman living nearby — his wife — and Parker was then arrested.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: FAKE NEWS AMID THE DEAD

The Ingraham Angle host later said that regardless of the president’s boasts about delaying the ceremony, it was ‘fake news’ that he was to blame for the late start.
Updated 06.07.19 5:24AM ET / Published 06.07.19 12:31AM ET  While hundreds of veterans gathered in France on Thursday waiting for commemorations to mark the 75th anniversary of D-Day to begin, President Trump sat nearby and joked with Fox News host Laura Ingraham about how he was “holding up” the ceremony to do an interview with her.
It was later claimed that the 15-minute delay was caused not by Trump’s affinity for Fox News, as many had believed, but French President Emmanuel Macron’s late arrival.
Trump, however, appeared to believe and even delight in the idea that he was the primary cause of the delay during his friendly chat with Ingraham. “Listen to those incredible people back there,” Trump said, motioning towards the ceremony stage. “These people are so amazing, and what they don’t realize is that, I’m holding them up because of this interview. But that’s because it’s you.”

Boner Candidate #3: HE’S TEN!

A Davis County mother says a Woods Cross police officer pointed a gun at her 10-year-old son during a police pursuit of two armed suspects on Thursday — an incident she believes was racially biased. Police Lt. Adam Osoro confirmed that an officer had pointed his gun at DJ Hrubes during a “dynamic and unfolding” search that started in Centerville and ended in West Bountiful. A nearby officer who responded to the incident came across the child, who was playing in a front yard, and asked him to stop, Osoro said. Instead, the boy ran to the side of the house. The officer withdrew his weapon and told Hrubes to get on the ground, which he did. As he got closer, that’s when he realized the boy was not involved in the incident, Osoro recounted. The contact between the officer and the child lasted between 10 and 15 seconds, he estimated. “Our officer acted appropriately under the circumstances,” Osoro said. But Jerri Hrubes, the boy’s mother, says in a Facebook post that she believes her son was racially profiled. “I believe it’s because my child is BLACK!!!!” she wrote shortly afterward. “… Dj was held at gunpoint around 1:00 pm today. Dj asked what did I do? The cop says I don’t want any any [sic] questions. Get on the ground now… I AM FURIOUS!!!”
[polldaddy poll=10337899]

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: YOU ARE PUTTING THE OTHER DINERS OFF THEIR FEED.

Sueretta Emke says she was kicked out of a Golden Corral because of her outfit. (Photo via Facebook) A crop-top-wearing woman believes she was ousted from a Golden Corral restaurant in Erie, Pennsylvania, because of her weight. The dejected diner said she was told she was dressed “too provocatively” and that another customer had complained.  Golden Corral says it does not have specific rules about customer attire for its 489 franchise locations, and never looks to “offend anyone.” Golden Corral — a nationwide chain that features all-you-can-eat buffets — is apologizing to a woman who says she was admonished for being “too provocative” in wearing a crop top and shorts while trying to dine at one of its restaurants in Erie, Pennsylvania. Sueretta Emke took to social media to share her distress about the incident late last month, which came as she was celebrating her son’s birthday with family and friends.

Boner Candidate #2: JUST PUT ‘EM ALL IN JAIL.

Thousands of children put on alternative therapies amid measles outbreak, potentially exposing them to life-threatening illness. Rally held to protest proposed bill to remove parents’ ability to claim a philosophical exemption to opt their children out of measles vaccine at the Capitol in Olympia, Washington, on 8 February. Photograph: Ted S Warren/AP. Thousands of American children are being put on homeopathic alternatives to vaccination by practitioners who claim they can prevent measles and “cure” autism, the Guardian has learned. At least 200 homeopaths in the US are practicing a controversial “therapy” known as Cease that falsely asserts that it has the power to treat and even cure autism. The acronym stands for Complete Elimination of Autistic Spectrum Expression. The “therapy” relies in part on administering high doses of vitamin C. Advocates falsely say it repairs the harm caused by vaccination – a double untruth as most vaccines are safe and there is no link between vaccines and autism, a condition for which there is no cure.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: I MEAN…ALCOHOL MAN. COME ON. IT WASN’T MY FAULT.

Raptors Fan Arrested Over Vulgar Comment About Ayesha Curry On Live TV. Cops in Toronto have arrested the moronic Raptors fan who went on a live TV news broadcast and said he was going to “F**k” Ayesha Curry. The incident occurred on June 2 following the Raptors loss to the Golden State Warriors in Game 2 of the NBA Finals … a game in which Ayesha’s husband, Steph Curry, dropped 23 points and 4 assists.  A CP24 news reporter in Canada was interviewing Raptors fans during a live news broadcast after the game to get their reactions when 28-year-old Tristan Warkentin stepped up to the mic. When asked what it was like to be at the stadium for the game, Warkentin responded … “The vibe was unreal and I just want to let everyone know Ayesha Curry we’re gonna f**k her right in the p**sy.”The Toronto Police Service says Warkentin was arrested for criminal mischief since he knew his comments would air on live TV. A court date has been set for July 11. After the incident, Warkentin said he had been receiving death threats because of his comments. He also told the Toronto Sun, “I’m not in a position to defend myself in terms of what happened. I am sure you understand the influence of alcohol.” “What I did was disgraceful; it was an alcohol-influenced situation … To be honest I don’t even remember being there but I am responsible for my own actions at the end of the day” and “am not sitting here claiming victim.”

Read More

[polldaddy poll=10337901]

To Top