ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: MAYBE NEXT TIME I’LL HEAR A PROPER “GOOD-BYE.”
A Texas man has been arrested after biting and choking his female friend who did not “properly say goodbye to him.”
Boner Candidate #2: I GUESS IT’S OKAY IF YOU’RE A JERK.
A recent Tweet by an LA podcaster brought up the controversy of whether or not asking your dinner party guests to pay for their food is okay.
Boner Candidate #3: HERSCHEL, YOU ARE JUST GETTING TOO SMART FOR US.
Herschel Walker recently brought up his doubts about evolution, citing that the continued existence of apes means humans couldn’t have evolved from them. The pastor who he was speaking with is quoted saying, “Now you’re getting too smart for us”.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WELL THAT’S A FINE HOWDEE DO.
Girl Scout’s recent partnership with Door Dash only allows girls in fourth-grade and older to sell cookies through the app. Younger girls are left struggling to buy and sell cookies because customers are moving towards the convenience of the delivery app.
Boner Candidate #2: WAR DOES NOT EXCUSE A FASHION FAUX PAS.
A man named Peter Schiff is receiving backlash after he Tweeted that the President of Ukraine should be wearing a suit instead of a t-shirt while addressing the US Congress.
Boner Candidate #3: PHIL, YOU COULD HAVE JUST KNOCKED ON HER DOOR.
Phil Lyman recently challenged the residency of his opponent, Davina Smith, a Navajo woman who grew up in San Juan County and lives in Blanding.
